“Now about sex. Many of us needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question. It’s so easy to get way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes— absurd extremes, perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation.
“Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isn’t the right kind. They see its significance everywhere. One school would allow man no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet. We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We’d hardly be human if we didn’t. What can we do about them?
“We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it.
“In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test—was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.
“Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it. (AA BB pg. 69)
It’ VERY easy to find fault with others
Somehow, the flaws are far more easy to see than the bigger picture, than the amount of work and thought and preparation have gone into a particular piece of work. Think about it–if someone just painted his or her house and missed a spot, what’s the first thing we see? If someone just cooked us dinner and used a bit too much salt, what’s the first thing we notice when we put the food into our mouths?
Live and Let Live “The old saying “Live and Let live” seems so commonplace, it is easy to overlook its value. Of course, one reason it has been said over and over for years is that it has proved beneficial in so many ways. We AA’s make some special uses of it to help us not drink. It particularly helps us cope with people who get on our nerves. Read more
TWELVE TRADITIONS OF SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS
- Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on SA unity.
- For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
- The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober.
- Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or Sexaholics Anonymous as a whole.
- Each group has but one primary purpose— to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers.
- An SA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the SA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
- Every SA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
- Sexaholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
- SA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
- Sexaholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
- Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV.
- Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
For more information, read the Twelve Concepts