New ZOOM meetings added

In the spirit of our New Year’s Eve marathon, and having a very successful experience with this new, robust Zoom video conference technology we are moving forward with several NEW calls throughout the day.  Please join us starting today @ 2:30 PM and 5:30 PM (Eastern Time). We’ve tried to identify hours where there are no meetings, hence “Nap Time” and “Happy Hour”.

Topic: Nap Time
Time: Jan 18, 2020 14:30 Eastern Time (US and Canada) Every day

Please download and import the following iCalendar (.ics) files to your calendar system.
Daily: https://zoom.us/meeting/u5Qrcu-grD8sJh5vyoSpDqanpAfygJ0uBQ/ics?icsToken=98tyKu-oqD4sEtaRtlyCY7QqA8HqbN-5kVtG_7VEkyz1JzFSbBPXMPtFGOJqMumB

Join Zoom Meeting
https://zoom.us/j/606568246

Meeting ID: 606 568 246

One tap mobile
+19292056099,,606568246# US (New York)
+16699006833,,606568246# US (San Jose)

Dial by your location
+1 929 205 6099 US (New York)
+1 669 900 6833 US (San Jose)
Meeting ID: 606 568 246
Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/aco2hbyRvF

————————————————————————————-

Topic: Happy Hour
Time: Jan 18, 2020 17:30 Eastern Time (US and Canada) Every day

Please download and import the following iCalendar (.ics) files to your calendar system.
Daily: https://zoom.us/meeting/uJAqc-6tqTsvC2luaEngpssdo1W89J5GLw/ics?icsToken=98tyKuysqT8tH9OVtVz9c7cqW9r5b8_ylFIcprZcuRHiEzNAZgynAbobGOdYPM-B

Join Zoom Meeting
https://zoom.us/j/547475705

Meeting ID: 547 475 705

One tap mobile
+19292056099,,547475705# US (New York)
+16699006833,,547475705# US (San Jose)

Dial by your location
+1 929 205 6099 US (New York)
+1 669 900 6833 US (San Jose)
Meeting ID: 547 475 705
Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/aco2hbyRvF

Click here =>

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/zoom-cloud-meetings/id546505307

 

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=us.zoom.videomeetings&hl=en_US

 

For more information, please check back as we update the Agenda, Topics and Format.

Here’s to the Crazy Ones

Do you know who is in this video?  I’m sure most people recognize Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein.  Click here

plato_quote


votingCounting Votes; Voting Results

Majority:

Does Robert mean … the Majority of the entire membership? … the Majority of the members present? … the Majority of the Votes Cast? How should you count the blank votes, the illegal votes, the abstentions

Read more:

http://sa.org/docs/servman2014.pdf

http://www.roberts-rules.com/parl17.htm

http://www.rulesonline.com/rror-08.htm

http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/leadership/group-facilitation/main

http://www.omafra.gov.on.ca/english/rural/facts/05-035.htm#approaches

https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Meeting_Basics/The_Meeting

Roy K. – Founder of SA

Roy Ronald Kuljian (aka Roy K., Friends of Roy) is the founder of Sexaholics Anonymous.  He was born on March 1, 1927 and passed away on Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at age 82.  Roy was a resident of Simi Valley, Ventura County, California. Spouse: Iris Bray Salway (aka Friends of Iris).

Roy was often criticized for his strong Christian morals and righteous personality.  He wrote many articles including Sobriety Interpretation and about Spouse and Marriage.  I had the pleasure to meet him twice before he passed away at the International Convention Jan 10, 2003 in Newark, NJ and again in Jul 6, 2007 in Adelphi, MD.  What I remember most about Roy was how mysterious his attendance at the convention was.  In other words, rather then soak in the glory of so many followers, he quickly snuck out the back door and went down to the local church to give a very religious sermon.  Read more

Roy’s battle with cancer is sad, but his LEGACY lives on. Members of Sexaholics Anonymous will forever be grateful. History is very powerful and those who had the opportunity to meet him are the messengers for the future. Perhaps a biography will be written which will allow us all to get to know him better.

Tragedy 11/24/12: “a dog was running along the beach and was playing in the surf.  Next thing you know, the dog got stuck in a strong riptide and began getting pulled out to sea.  So his owner, Roy’s 17 year old grandson ran in after him.  Then he got stuck in the undertow so his father watching this from the beach ran in after him.  Then the father got stuck and the mother ran in after all of them.  Later, the dog managed to make his way back to shore but the rest of the family died.  Roy lost his son, his daughter in law and their child that day. Roy’s wife survived, witnessing the entire episode from the beach”.


The Kuljian Family – Obituary

The Freshwater community tragically lost three members of the Kuljian family Sat, Nov 24, 2012. Howard, his wife, Mary, and their son, Geddie, perished in the surf of Big Lagoon where they often took family walks with their surviving daughter/sister, Olivia. Mary Elena Scott was born in Peoria, Illinois on April 8, 1955. She was the daughter of James Scott (deceased) and Ruth Krenn Scott (deceased). She had two brothers, Michael Scott (deceased) and David Scott as well as one sister, Theresa Jenkins. Mary is survived by their spouses, and numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews.  (Eureka Times, 2012 – Read more)

Listen & Silent

Did you know that both words have the same letters?

There is a famous saying, “take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth.  Listen to learn, and learn to listen”.

If you are new to Sexaholics Anonymous, it is suggested that you listen to others in the beginning before you start sharing.  This way you can learn about the various suggested guidelines and personality of the 12 Step meeting.

Generally, every 12 Step program is different and you will find that just about every group / meeting is slightly different.  This is true for obvious reasons.  SLAA & SAA will describe different forms of sexual sobriety than SA.  Whereas, AA and NA will often be too embarrassed to talk about about the ‘elephant in the room’.

When I started SA, around 1995 (give or take a year, it’s a little foggy, being it was so long ago) I remember folks suggesting going to Alanon as a supplement to the “S” fellowship because there were more meetings to choose from.  The nice thing about Alanon is that they accept just about everyone and are not as strict about specific addictions and have some of the best phone meetings.  In fact, most Alcoholics say they first stopped drinking and then started going to Alanon to learn more about relationships.

Interestingly enough, a friend of mine gave me a copy of the AA Grapevine over 10 years ago and guess what was on the cover?  “Now about Sex”.  The stories that followed were all about relationships.


cross_talkUnfortunately, when you join a SA Phone Meeting, there is a good chance that you may witness some strange behavior.  The attendance ranges from 5-50 callers with an average around 20 people.

The other day, during the 0830 business meeting I shared the following observations:

  1. The Daily Sobriety Renewal (DSR) phone calls are problematic simply by the mere nature of the meeting format.
  2. When Roy K. (founder of SA) first introduced the DSR questions, I suspect he meant it to be something that a small number of guys (4-5 people) in his accountability circle would discuss on a daily basis.  Or perhaps a one-on-one discussion with your sponsor, as I did with Bill W. Read more.
  3. I found out later, hindsight is 20/20, that the real purpose of the renewal call was for me.  Not for anyone else.  My sponsor was simply trying to get me to admit and accept that I was a sex addict and the only way I could stay sober for any length of time was focus on the next 24 hours.
  4. When we started the 12:00 p.m. Noon SA teleconference, we had an caller get into a car accident and it was very disruptive to everyone at the meeting.  This was before we had the ability to mute the entire line.  However, for 45 minutes everyone sat there trying to tell the guilty caller to “mute your line”.  Eventually, he got back on the line after we listened to sirens and people yelling, exactly what had happened.  As you can imagine, everyone on the call, immediately changed their perspective and felt empathetic.  “Oh, are you alright? are you hurt?”  The lesson here is, pray for patience & tolerance.  But be careful, you might just get what you ask for.
  5. I have also noticed that moderators some times behave worse than the caller who is “un-muted”.  It is really a testimony of recovery for the person sharing and the secretary how they handle the aggravating noise and annoying sounds.  It’s as though people take it too personal, when much of the time it is completely innocent.
  6. The best solution ALL of the SA Phone meetings should do is enable the mute feature by default so that when callers first join, they are automatically muted.
  7. We can learn a lot by other 12 Step programs such as Alanon, OA and Greysheets who have mastered the phone bridge and navigating difficult situations.
  8. When I started coming to the SA phone meetings shortly after they started in 2004 there was a lot of KAOS to say the least.  Not only was there background noise, most of the callers were NOT sober and talked about very toxic, graphical images.  It was not a sober environment.  The same challenges with control, power and people talking over one another (shouting to be precise) still exist today, but it has gotten exponentially better.
  9. Shortly after this website was formed, the phone lines changed over and over.  I believe this website has always played a integral role in sparking the changes with the phone meetings.  Read more  The PBX system that originally hosted the meetings would frequently freeze up and shut down due to capacity limits and thus in order to resolve someone needed to manually restart the server.
  10. In 2009, the phone line was down for 7 straight days and there was NO Sexaholics Anonymous phone meeting (PERIOD).  Imagine how you would react if you were accustomed to attending a SA meeting daily and then all of a sudden there was no way to get through.  That’s why this website began!
  11. Today we use a 3rd party service by free conference and rarely is there a problem with the line being unavailable. Read more
  12. Lastly, if you do the math, when there are 20 callers on the line, that means if there are 3 questions or requests by moderator to say something, you have to mute yourself afterwards.  Thus, 3 times each caller needs to mute themselves also means 3 more times they need to un-mute themselves.  Multiply that by the number of callers and you get well over 100 times that you are rely on others to do the right thing.  It really boils down to patience and tolerance.  More importantly, TRUST.  Just like when you are driving over a bridge, you trust the bridge will not collapse.  Or when you are driving down a 2 lane road and you trust the oncoming traffic will stay in their lane.  Trust that others are rooting for you.  Even if you notice rude behavior, trust the process, trust Sexaholics Anonymous and trust God that he wants the best for his children.

Anonymity

For the past 20 years I have heard many people discuss their fears about “what if someone found out?”

I believe the addict is the “last one to find out”.  In other words, generally speaking, everyone already knows the addict’s life is unmanageable, or they are out-of-control, or at the very least a bit crazy.  However, perhaps the addict is very good at hiding it.

Having been a master of disguise for over 40 years, I believe you cannot bullshit a bullshiter.  In other words, when I was a child, they used to say, “if you spot it, you got it” and “if you smelt it you dealt it”.  In AA they say, “a real tosspot calling a kettle black”.

“In some sections of A.A., anonymity is carried to the point of real absurdity. Members are on such a poor basis of communication that they don’t even know each other’s last names or where each lives.” – As Bill Sees it, page 241

“…[Dr. Bob] said there were two ways to break the Anonymity Tradition: (1) by giving your name at the public level of press or radio; (2) by being so anonymous that you can’t be reached by other drunks.” – Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers, page 264

Additional references:

New Year’s Eve – Zoom Marathon

2020 New Year’s Eve/Day
Sexaholics Anonymous
~ 24 Hour Marathon

Here’s a great opportunity to start a “New & Improved” Resolution on Recovery!!!

When: 12:00 PM December 31, 2019
thru 12:00 PM January 1, 2020 (Eastern Time)
Sponsored by www.saphonemeeting.org

Please join us as we bring in the New Year!

Join Zoom Meeting: https://zoom.us/j/8398747514
Meeting ID: 839-874-7514
Dial by your location: (646) 558-8656 or (408) 638-0968
Find your local number: https://zoom.us/u/aco2hbyRvF

We will be televising “TIME SQUARE” Live as we count down.

Visit www.saphonemeeting.org for more information as it develops including complete Agenda, Topics and “Old Timer” Guest Speakers.

Happy New Year !!!


New Year’s Eve Marathon begins @ 12:00 (Noon) December 31, 2019 and will combine/merge with regularly scheduled “Mixed Meetings” at each of the following time slots: 16:00 (4:00 PM), 19:30 (7:30 PM), 21:05 (9:05 PM), 22:15 (10:00 PM), 24:00 (12:00 Midnight),  05:00, 05:40, 06:25, 06: 30, 07:30, 08:00, 08:30, 09:15 and the New Year’s Eve Marathon will close @ 12:00 (Noon) on Wednesday, January 1, 2020. All times below are based on Eastern Time.

For more information, please check back as marathon develops (including complete Agenda, Topics and “Old Timer” Guest Speakers).

Egomaniac with an Inferiority Complex

For years, I’ve heard this expression and related to it, however never really examined the underlying factors.
An egomaniac with an inferiority complex is someone who is obsessively preoccupied with their own unrealistic feeling of inadequacy, and it’s safe to assume they behave aggressively and impulsively to over compensate with delusions of personal greatness to mask insecurity.
Indicating attributes that can typically be credited to this specific style of substance abuser or addict.

(1) Exaggeration
Often time’s people who have a tendency to exaggerate details and events do so for reasons closely associated with egomania and inferiority. They may be trying to overemphasize themselves to others to promote their worth and image, while secretly fighting the feeling of ‘less than’.

(2) Ridicule
Those who openly and frequently ridicule others and put down everyone around them in ways ranging from minor insults to extreme aggressive judgment can be showing signs of being an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. By behaving this way they are trying to expose the defects in others to draw the attention off of whatever personal defect they are avoiding at the time, and doing so in a way that they feel will seem attractive to others.

(3) Fishing for Compliments
Egomaniacs love compliments, and people with an inferiority complex usually find it pretty easy to belittle themselves. So when someone with both wants to get their best results, they may talk down about themselves to others to get a little extra attention and admiration. When you say how ugly you are just so people tell you you’re pretty, you are feeding the self-pity, and at the same time inviting praise that you secretly crave.

(4) Hyper Sensitive
People who seem too tense or sensitive to the opinions of others also exhibit signs of egomania and an inferiority complex. If you find yourself taking everything said about you too seriously and obsessing over what someone may have pointed out as a flaw, then you are perpetuating the critical self-image. At the same time, you are being absorbed by the thought of yourself and how you can possibly appear to be better to others.

(5) You Hate Losing
To an egomaniac with an inferiority complex losing means you ARE a loser! It makes you feel that you are less than, and it exposes your weakness or faults to others to judge you. You hate losing because it tarnishes the reputation you want people to see, and it hurts you deeper to know that you are a failure. But losing is not failing, it’s learning.

(6) Problems with Paying Attention
Those who have a hard time really listening to people at all and holding conversations can be showing signs of being an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. Either they are not interested enough in what it is you have to say because it’s not about them, or they are having an internal dialog obsessing about how they should respond, what their response will say about them, or what they look like while listening. Instead of being in the present they are worried or focused on themselves. Instead of listening, they just wait for their turn to talk.

The false conception of being inferior, the obsession of the negative ego, or the combination of both can be symptoms of the types of toxic behavior and character defects that make up the disease of addiction or alcoholism. Learning to understand the personality traits and how to grow out of them is a huge part of the recovery process.

Referemce:

Upcoming Events

Gratitude Day

November 2, 2019

8:45 AM – 4:30 PM

Location: Rockville, MD

For more information, visit https://sanon.ticketleap.com/gratitude19


A Design For Living

January 10 – 12, 2020

SA 2020 International Convention

Location: Nashville, Tennessee

For More Information, visit www.designforliving2020.com


True North 2020 – Happy, Joyous and Free

July 24 – 26, 2020

SA/S-Anon International Convention

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

For More Information, visit www.truenorth2020.ca

New Meeting

Are you interested in starting a

☆☆☆ NEW ☆☆☆

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) Teleconference meeting?

Send the following SURVEY to your network of friends => Click Here

We can help you rally the results and decide the “Next Step”.

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