I am a Sex addict and member of Sexaholics Anonymous. I started attending SA meetings in 1994.
I am powerless over voyeurism and wanting to be lusted after. I also am a drug addict and alcoholic. I began Narcotics Anonymous in 1990.
Fortunately, my sobriety date is 11/7/1996 even though my first AA meeting was in 1992. I also met my wife in 1992 and we dated 10 years before marrying in 2002. We have two kids (girl and a boy).
So, what exactly is voyeurism? Merriam Webster defines it as a person who gets sexual pleasure from secretly watching other people have sex; one obtaining sexual gratification from observing unsuspecting individuals who are partly undressed, naked, or engaged in sexual acts; one who habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means; a prying observer who is usually seeking the sordid or the scandalous.
I particularly enjoy how Roy K. (founder of SA) describes “The Problem…Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could never know real union with another because we were addicted to the unreal. We went for the “chemistry,” the connection that had the magic, because it by-passed inti macy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed love. First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to fill up what was lacking in ourselves. Conning ourselves time and again that the next one would save us, we were really losing our lives.”
He goes on to say, “I never suspected that the whole process from the very beginning was creating a deadly false reality and short-circuiting my ability to have normal relationships with anyone, let alone wife and children. Without sensing what was happening anywhere along the line, the great love “maker” had become the great love cripple.” (WB pg. 16).
Thank God, our sobriety definition calls for “progressive victory over lust”. Moreover, my conscience is very much aware today when I start to cross certain lines. There are many bottoms I have never hit, yet. However, YET stands for “Your Eligible Too”