Keep your opinions to yourself

How many times have you heard that?  Ever met a bully? Know anyone who is a bully?  Ever heard of the “bleeding deacon and the elderly statesman”?  You know what they say about opinions and a**holes?

We are very, very concerned about what other people think?  In fact, our entire program is based upon the principle of “we are many and varied”.  Thus, we encourage feedback – good, bad or indifferent.

Tools designed to encourage participation

  1. Reply to any of our pages and blogs anonymously Read more
  2. Leave an anonymous comment online in our Q&A Section
  3. Send us an email to info@saphonemeeting.org
  4. Respond to our Online Survey
  5. Complete New Meeting Form online
  6. Join our Newsletter
  7. Attend our regular Website Committee meetings
  8. Give us a Phone Call (available to Members ONLY)

Results

  • RAC Census
  • Below are the answers from the Survey link above

survey_results_q01

survey_results_q02survey_results_q04

survey_results_q03survey_results_q05survey_results_q06survey_results_q07survey_results_q08survey_results_q09asurvey_results_q09bsurvey_results_q09csurvey_results_q09dsurvey_results_q09esurvey_results_q09fsurvey_results_q10

+

Egomaniac with an Inferiority Complex

For years, I’ve heard this expression and related to it, however never really examined the underlying factors.
An egomaniac with an inferiority complex is someone who is obsessively preoccupied with their own unrealistic feeling of inadequacy, and it’s safe to assume they behave aggressively and impulsively to over compensate with delusions of personal greatness to mask insecurity.
Indicating attributes that can typically be credited to this specific style of substance abuser or addict.

(1) Exaggeration
Often time’s people who have a tendency to exaggerate details and events do so for reasons closely associated with egomania and inferiority. They may be trying to overemphasize themselves to others to promote their worth and image, while secretly fighting the feeling of ‘less than’.

(2) Ridicule
Those who openly and frequently ridicule others and put down everyone around them in ways ranging from minor insults to extreme aggressive judgment can be showing signs of being an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. By behaving this way they are trying to expose the defects in others to draw the attention off of whatever personal defect they are avoiding at the time, and doing so in a way that they feel will seem attractive to others.

(3) Fishing for Compliments
Egomaniacs love compliments, and people with an inferiority complex usually find it pretty easy to belittle themselves. So when someone with both wants to get their best results, they may talk down about themselves to others to get a little extra attention and admiration. When you say how ugly you are just so people tell you you’re pretty, you are feeding the self-pity, and at the same time inviting praise that you secretly crave.

(4) Hyper Sensitive
People who seem too tense or sensitive to the opinions of others also exhibit signs of egomania and an inferiority complex. If you find yourself taking everything said about you too seriously and obsessing over what someone may have pointed out as a flaw, then you are perpetuating the critical self-image. At the same time, you are being absorbed by the thought of yourself and how you can possibly appear to be better to others.

(5) You Hate Losing
To an egomaniac with an inferiority complex losing means you ARE a loser! It makes you feel that you are less than, and it exposes your weakness or faults to others to judge you. You hate losing because it tarnishes the reputation you want people to see, and it hurts you deeper to know that you are a failure. But losing is not failing, it’s learning.

(6) Problems with Paying Attention
Those who have a hard time really listening to people at all and holding conversations can be showing signs of being an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. Either they are not interested enough in what it is you have to say because it’s not about them, or they are having an internal dialog obsessing about how they should respond, what their response will say about them, or what they look like while listening. Instead of being in the present they are worried or focused on themselves. Instead of listening, they just wait for their turn to talk.

The false conception of being inferior, the obsession of the negative ego, or the combination of both can be symptoms of the types of toxic behavior and character defects that make up the disease of addiction or alcoholism. Learning to understand the personality traits and how to grow out of them is a huge part of the recovery process.

Referemce:

Upcoming Events

Gratitude Day

November 2, 2019

8:45 AM – 4:30 PM

Location: Rockville, MD

For more information, visit https://sanon.ticketleap.com/gratitude19


A Design For Living

January 10 – 12, 2020

SA 2020 International Convention

Location: Nashville, Tennessee

For More Information, visit www.designforliving2020.com


True North 2020 – Happy, Joyous and Free

July 24 – 26, 2020

SA/S-Anon International Convention

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

For More Information, visit www.truenorth2020.ca

Contract for Sobriety

Today at the 12:00 PM Noon SA Phone Meeting, I suggested the following reading from Practical Recovery Tools – “A Contract for Sobriety”.  During introductions, I picked 3 readings and asked the group to decide.  This is what we read – CLICK HERE and the KINDLE version directly from Amazon.

Evidently, it was a big success and I decided to start another Contract myself, starting immediately.

Incidentally, a few years ago I also came across this reading in the same book – “Lust Based Decisions” CLICK HERE.

Lastly, as some members shared, the DAILY SOBRIETY RENEWAL is very much like a Daily Contract – CLICK HERE.

AA History Flowchart

I recently came across the following article below… 

It’s very easy to spend hours on the Internet these days digging up tons of historical references regarding Alcoholics Anonymous.  My mission today is start logging chronologically the events in Sexaholics Anonymous history (e.g. Wiki)

                Flowchart of Events of Interest to Members
                Of The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous
                                  by Miles M.
                             
 
                        William Griffith Wilson
                        born Nov. 26, 1895, in a
                        small room behind a bar in
                        East Dorsett, VT., to Gilman
1901 - Professor        and Emily Wilson.
William James lectures
at University of 
Edinburgh, Scotland.
Lectures published as
The Varieties of 
Religious Experience
in 1902.                Bill's father, Gilman, deserts                 
                        the family.
 
                        Bill's mother, Emily, moves to
                        Boston and becomes an Osteopathic
                        Physician.  Bill and sister
                        Dorothy live with maternal grand-
                        parents, Fayette and Ella
                        Griffith.
 
                        Bill's first "success" making a
                        boomerang - "a fitting irony".
 
                        @1907 - About age 12 Bill "leaves
                        the Church" over a required 
1908 - Oxford Group     temperance pledge.
begun as A First Century
Christian Fellowship.
Frank Buchman, Founder.  
They espoused the Four
Absolutes:  Honesty,
Purity, Unselfishness
and Love.  They         1909 - Bill begins secondary
practiced the princi-   education at Burr & Burton
ples of self-survey     Academy.
confession; restitution;
and service to others.                                  1911 - Ebby Thatcher
                                                        and Bill first met.
 
                        1912 - Bill's "first love",
                        Bertha Bamford, dies after
                        surgery in New York.  Bill
                        began a three year depression.
1914-1918, World War I
                        1914 - Bill enters Norwich
                        University - a military college
                        with strict discipline.
                        
                        Bill meets Lois Burnham, 
                        daughter of New York
                        physician Dr. Clark Burnham.
April 6, 1917 - U.S.
enters World War I.
                        Summer 1917 - a Second Lieutenant
                        in the coast artillery at Ft.
                        Rodman, Mass., Bill takes first
                        remembered drink - Bronx Cocktail
                        - feels a miracle - relaxed and
                        free.  A profound experience he
                        recalled vividly more than 50
                        years later.
 
                        January 24, 1918 - Bill marries
                        Lois Burnham.
 
                        Summer 1918 - On way to France, 
                        Bill visits Winchester Cathedral
                        and is stirred by a "tremendous
                        sense of presence".  Reads
                        epitaph on headstone of a 
                        Hampshire Grenadier.
Nov. 11, 1918 -                                         January 16, 1919 - 36
Armistice signed,                                       states ratified 
World War I ends.                                       constitutional
                        May 1919 - Bill returns home.   amendment for 
                                                        prohibition.
                        1920 - Bill enters Brooklyn
                        Law School.
 
                        1921 - An investigator for U.S.
                        F & G and also works around
                        Wall Street.
 
                        Christmas 1923 - Bill vows to 
                        stay sober one year - Lasted
                        only 2 months.
 
                        1925-26 - Bought motorcycle and
                        became (First?) "Market Analyst."
                        Disease progressing.
 
                        1926 - On Wall Street full time.
                        Disease progressing.
 
                        Late 1928 - Early 1929 - Bill 
                        crosses "invisible line" in
                        his drinking.
Oct. 1929 - Stock
Market collapse.
                        Nov. 1929 - Bill goes to Canada
                        for a job with Dick Johnson.
 
                        1930 - 31 - Back in Brooklyn and
                        Wall Street.  Living with Lois's
                        family - unemployed. Disease
                        progressing.
 
                        Spring 1932 - Bill's business   1931 - Rowland Hazzard
                        deal in New Jersey - drank      sees Dr. Carl Jung
                        Apple Jack and drunk three      in Zurich, Switzerland.
                        days.  Contract cancelled.      Told no medical or 
At Towns Hospital, Bill                                 psychological hope for
meets Dr. William                                       an alcoholic of his
Silkworth on second                                     type; told the only
admission.  "The Little                                 hope was a spiritual or
Doctor Who Loved        1930-34 - Bill in "An Alcoholic religious experience
Drunks."                Hell".  1933-34 - Bill in Towns or conversion.  This
                        Hospital four times.            considered "the first
                                                        in the chain of events 
Dec. 5, 1933-                                           that led to the
Prohibition ended.                                      founding of A.A."
                        Bill resumes drinking after
                        each admission.  Disease
                        progressing.
 
Dr. Silkworth           Summer 1934                     Rowland Hazzard
pronounces Bill a...    "HOPELESS DRUNK"                return to America and
                                                        becomes involved in
                                                        Oxford Group.
1934 - Emmett Fox
publishes The Sermon
On The Mount.
                        Nov. 1924 - Ebby T. carries     Aug. 1924 - Rowland
                        message to Bill at home.        Hazzard and Cebra
                        Tells his story. "One           persuade court to
                        Alcoholic Talking To Another."  court to parole Ebby
                                                        Thatcher in their
                        Bill starts attending Oxford    custody.  Ebby sobers
                        Group at Calvary Church,        up at Oxford Group at 
                        Bowery Mission.                 Calvary Episcopal 
                                                        Mission, Sam Shoemaker.
                        Bill drinks again - Back to
                        Towns Hospital.
 
                        Dec. 1934 - Bill has "Hot
                        Flash" spiritual experience
                        at Towns Hospital.  NEVER 
                        DRANK AGAIN.
Dr. Silkworth assured
Bill he was not crazy;
rather a "psychic                                       The next day Ebby
upheaval" or "conversion                                brought Bill a copy
experience."                                            of William James'
                                                        Varieties of Religious
                                                        Experience.
                        Bill reads Varieties of Religious
                        Experience, an explanation of 
                        need for Pain, Suffering, Calamity
                        and "Deflation in Depth" and the
                        "Simultaneous Transmission of 
                        Hope."  The two "Halves" are
                        joined into a "Whole."
 
                        Bill returns to Oxford Group and 
                        works with other alcoholics, also at 
                        Sam Shoemaker's Calvary Mission and
                        at Towns Hospital, emphasizing his
                        "Hot Flash" spiritual experience.  
                        He noted they "seemed to do better"
                        talking of their common problems,
                        but no success in sobering up others.
                                                        Bill develops belief
                                                        that alcoholics are
                                                        resistant to the 
                                                        "Four Absolutes" of
                                                        the Oxford Group.
                        1935 - Bill, still sober, but no
                        success yet in helping others. Still
                        frequents Wall Street. Went to Akron
                        Ohio for proxy fight.  Lost proxy
                        fight.  Bill at Mayflower Hotel.
                        Very discouraged and afraid he might
                        drink.
                        May 11, 1935 - Bill reached reali-
 Rev. Walter Tunks      zation of: I need another alcoholic.
        .               "He starts making telephone calls.
                        *The final founding moment
Referred to Norman       of A.A.*
Sheppard
                        May 12, 1935 @5:00 P.M. - Bill  Robert Holbrook
Referred to Henrietta   meets Dr. Bob.  Bob still       Smith.  Born August
Seiberling, an Oxford   drinking.  Bill tells Bob of    8, 1879 in St.
Group adherent.  She    his experiences with alcohol    Johnsbury, VT.
arranged a meeting the  the hopes, promises, failures   Dartmouth College, Pre-
next afternoon at the   told of the obsession, compul-  Med at University of
Seiberling Estate with  sion, and physical allergy;     Michigan.  M.D. at
Dr. Bob Smith.          told him of Ebby's visit and    Rush Medical College,
                        simple message, "show me your   Chicago, IL.  Intern
                        faith and by my works I will    at City Hospital, 
                        show you mine."                 Akron, OH.  Procto-
                                                        logist.  His wife,
                                                        Anne was a friend of
                                                        Henrietta Seiberling.
                                                        They brought Dr. Bob
                                                        to Oxford Group meet-
                                                        ings for 2-1/2 yrs.
                        Dr. Bob understood with sudden  and he continued to 
Bill had presented Dr.  clarity - the difference with   get drunk regularly.
Bob four aspects of one the Oxford Group.  "The spirit- 
core idea:              ual approach was as useless as
(1) Utter Hopelessness  any other if you soaked it up like
(2) Totally Deflated    a sponge and kept it to yourself."
(3) Requiring Conversion The purpose of life was not to 
(4) Needing Others      "get" , it was to "give."
 
                                  June 10, 1935                             
                              Dr. Bob has last drink    
                              _______________________
                                  ALCOHOLICS
                                   ANONYMOUS
                                     FOUNDED
                              ------------------------
 
                        June 11, 1935 - Dr. Bob
                        suggests they both start
                        working with other alcoholics.
 
                        June 28, 1935 - Bill and Dr.
                        Bob confront Bill Dotson, 
                        first "Man on the Bed."  
                        Bill D. was a prominent
                        attorney in Akron.  The 3rd
                        A.A. Note:  Bill D. had a
                        spiritual experience without
                        familiarity with Oxford 
                        Group principals.
 
Henrietta Seiberling    Summer, 1935 - Bill stayed in        
supplied them with      in Akron.  He and Dr. Bob worked
"Infusion of Spirit-    with alcoholics and attended weekly
uality" mainly through  Oxford Group meetings and received
Paul to Corinthians on  spiritual nourishment.
"Love" and James on 
"Works" if faith is to
have meaning,           Fall & Winter 1935 - Back in 
                        New York on Clinton St.  Hank P. 
                        and Fitz M. got sober.
 
                        Mid 1936 - a small but solid    Bill's efforts with
                        group developing at Clinton     alcoholics receiving
                        St. in New York.                criticism from 
                                                        Oxford Group.
 
                        Charles Towns offers Bill a
                        job at Towns Hospital.  Bill
                        wanted it.  The question
                        presented to the Group and
                        rejected because - what they
                        had, the "thing" that bound
                        them together and those 
                        feelings could not be bought
                        and paid for.  The only 
                        authority was the Group
                        Conscience and all decisions
                        were to be made by the
                        Group.                          1937 - Beginning of
                                                        the split from the
                                                        Oxford Group.
                        Residents at Clinton St.
                                Ebby T.
                                Oscar V.
                                Russell R.
                                Bill C.
                                Florence R.
 
                        Nov. 1937 - Bill and Dr. Bob
                        meet in Akron and compare 
                        notes.  Forty cases sober and
                        staying sober.  More than
                        twenty sober for more than
                        one year.  All had been
                        diagnosed as HOPELESS.
 
                                        +
 
                        A meeting of the Akron
                        Group to consider Bill's ideas
                        for a book, pamphlets and
                        how to expand the movement.
                        Presented but only narrowly
                        passed by a majority of 2.
Feb. 1938 - Rockefeller
gives $5,000 and saves
A.A. from professionalism.
                        May 1938 - The Alcoholic
                        Foundation established as a
                        trusteeship for A.A.
 
                        May 1938 - Beginning of the
                        writing of the book
                        Alcoholics Anonymous.
 
                        Dec. 1938 - Twelve Steps
                        written.
 
                        1939 - Membership reaches
                        100.
 
                        April 1939 - The book
                        Alcoholics Anonymous
                        published.
 
                        Summer 1939 - Withdrawal
                        from association with Oxford
1940 - Bill meets       Group complete.  Oxford
Father Ed Dowling who   Group renamed "Moral
becomes his "spiritual  Re-Armament."
advisor."                                               "Rule No. 62."
 
March 1941 - Jack Alex- Feb. 1940 - First World Service January 1944 - Dr.
ander's Saturday Even-  Office for A.A.                 Harry Tiebout's first
ing Post article                                        paper on the subject
published and member-   June 1944 - The A.A.            of "alcoholics
ship jumped from 2000   Grapevine established.          anonymous"
 
The Washingtonians in   1946 - The Twelve Traditions
the 1840's failed, due  of A.A. formulated and          
principally to failure  published.
to adhere to "Single-   
ness of Purpose," and   June 1, 1949 - Anne Ripley
this failure influenced Smith died.
the development of the
A.A. Traditions.
                        July 1959 - First international
                        convention of A.A. at Cleveland,
                        Ohio.  Twelve Traditions
                        adopted.
 
                        Nov. 16, 1950 - Dr. Robert
                        Holbrook Smith, co-founder
                        of Alcoholics Anonymous died.
 
                        June 1953 - The book Twelve
                        Steps and Twelve Traditions
                        published.
 
                        Oct. 1954 - The "Alcoholic
                        Foundation" becomes the 
                        "General Service Board of
                        A.A."
 
                        July 1955 - 20th Anniversary
                        Convention at St. Louis, MO
                        Second edition of Alcoholics
                        Anonymous published.  The three
                        legacies of Recovery, Unity
                        and Service turned over to the
                        movement by its oldtimers.
 
                        1957 - Creation of first overseas
                        General Service Board of A.A.
                        in Great Britain and Ireland.
                        A.A. Comes of Age published in
                        October.  Membership reaches
                        over 200,000 in 7,000 groups in
                        70 countries and U.S. possessions.
 
                        1959 - A.A. Publishing, Inc. became
                        A.A. World Services, Inc.
 
                        July 1960 - 25th Anniversary Convention
                        at Long Beach, CA
 
                        1962 - Publication of Twelve Concepts
                        for World Service written by Bill W.
 
                        July 1965 - 30th Anniversary Convention
                        at Toronto, Canada.  Keynote adopted,
                        "I Am Responsible."
 
                        1966 - Change in ratio of trustees
                        of the General Service Board; now
                        two-thirds majority of alcoholic
                        members; the A.A. fellowship accepts
                        ütop responsibility for all it's
                        future affairs.
 
                        1967 - Publication of the book The A.A.
                        Way of Life now titled As Bill Sees It.
 
                        Oct. 9-11, 1969 - 1st World Service
                        meeting held in New York with delegates
                        from 14 countries.
 
                        1970 - 35th Anniversary International
                        Convention at Miami Beach, Florida.
                        Keynote: "This we owe to AA's of the
                        future.  To place our common welfare
                        first; To keep our fellowship united.
                        For on A.A. Unity depend our lives, and
                        the lives of those to come."  Bill's
                        last public appearance.
 
                        Jan. 24, 1971 - William Griffith Wilson,
                        co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, dies
                        at Miami Beach, FL.
 
                        Oct. 5-7, 1972 - 2nd World Service meeting
                        held in New York.
 
                        1973 - Publication of Came to Believe.
 
                        April 1973 - Distribution of the book
                        Alcoholics Anonymous reached one
                        million mark.
 
                        1975 - Publication of Living Sober.
 
                        1976 - Publication of 3rd Edition of
                        Alcoholics Anonymous.
 
                        October 5, 1988 - Lois Burnam Wilson died.
 
 
                        ==========================
Sources:   Bill W. by Robert Thompsen
           Not God. A History of Alcoholics Anonymous by Ernest Kurtz
           Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, A.A. World Services, Inc.
           Pass It On - Bill Wilson and the A.A. Message, A.A. World Services
           The Language of the Heart, The A.A. Grapevine
           Dr. Bob and the Good Old-Timers, A.A. World Services, Inc.
           On The Tail of a Comet, The Life of Frank Buchman by Garth Lean
           The Washingtonian Movement, by Milton A. Maxwell, Ph.D.
           A.A. The Way It Began, by Bill Pittman
 

Pornography

For over 40 years I have worked in the computer industry.  My father worked for IBM back in 1975 (I was only 8 years old) and later when I was working on my undergraduate degree, I too went to work for IBM.

Thus, most of my professional career I have worked in the Information Technology field and it’s been extremely hard to avoid the DRUG that is so easy to access.  I used to rationalize for years, putting a “filter or anti-porn block” on my PC or nowadays my smart phone is only a Band-Aid.  It I don’t address the root of my disease, my cunning baffling and more powerful disease will always find a workaround.

However, as of Jan 12th, 2019 all that has changed.  I was sitting in church listening to the eulogy of a friend of mine who died with 58 years of continuous sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous.  The words, “Tom was a man of principle; he never wavered” really spoke to me.  So, I left that service and when I got home I proceeded to install www.CovenantEyes.com on ALL my devices.

It was a miracle I felt so liberated.

 

 

 

Porn and Your Husband

A Recovery Guide for Wives

A wife who has just discovered her husband’s porn use may wonder if she did something wrong, or why she didn’t notice the signs earlier, or whether she will ever be able to trust him again.

This free ebook answers some of the common questions about pornography use and offers practical strategies for healing the marriage

 

Hope After Porn

4 Women Share Their Stories of Heartbreak…and How Their Marriages Were Saved

Discovering her husband uses porn may be one of the most emotionally devastating experiences of a wife’s life. In this ebook, four women share their stories of heartbreak because of their husbands’ betrayal, and how they found reconciliation and restoration in spite of it.

 

e-Books  //  PornStats  //  Family Protection 

 


How do you block Google images without blocking the entire search engine?” Recently, I spoke to another SA Member and he asked this question.

In the bottom right corner, click on “Settings” and then select “Search Settings”.  Enable “Filter explicit results” and Save.

google_images

I did some more research and here is what I found:

  • At this time it is not possible to block image search via Google without blocking Google entirely.  Google Images does not load those images from other domains, in fact it is embedded into the HTML for most browsers using a data URI.  This means the image information is actually part of the HTML markup for the page and not something OpenDNS can block without blocking Google Images entirely.
  • Bing (on the other hand) has chosen to host potentially explicit thumbnails from “explicit.bing.net” and we block that domain under the appropriate categories.
  • As far as I can tell, Google is being very irresponsible regarding the way that it displays images in its searches and the fact that it is essentially impossible to block them.
  • Bing allows you to simply block *.explicit.bing.net, which means that no explicit pictures are returned. Google does not allow for this. Worse still, using HTTPS (which is how most traffic is now handled) you cant even append the safe=on switch. Also, that requires proxy software / hardware which the majority of home users simply don’t use or wouldn’t know how to use.
  • References:  Safe searchNet NannyWebsenseEngines, Robots

There is Hope

Ask yourself, “how much time and money have I wasted looking at pornography and acting out?”

Is it worth $30.00 to eliminate the temptation?  How about $100.00?

We have personally tested and believe K9 is fantastic.  Very easy to use, setup and best of all it’s FREE.  This will get you started until you decide how much money and time you want to spend finding a “full-proof solution”.  However, keep in mind, nothing is Perfect.  Nevertheless, K9 automatically blocks “inappropriate images” and even tracks/logs your web activity.k9

 

Rankings

At this time I have organized a prioritized list of the tools in order of effectiveness and value.

  1. Symantec
  2. McAfee
  3. Net Nanny
  4. K9
  5. Cyber Patrol
  6. Web Watcher

More importantly, give the administrator password to your sponsor or your spouse so you are not tempted!  Get back to reality and focus on the things that matter most – email, work, news feeds, social networking “safely”, etc.

Eight tools to help block internet pornography

Set your search engine to “safe search” mode: For Google users go to http://www.google.com/familysafety/; Bing users go to http://www.bing.com/preferences.aspx; and, if you use another search engine, go to the safety settings and find this feature.  If you child uses services like YouTube, be sure you have set the “safe” mode on those platforms as well.

  1. Use the family safety tools provided by your computer’s/other device’s operating system: Both Windows and Mac operating systems provide family safety settings.
  2. Use family safety tool services: Sometimes called parental controls, these tools allow you to set specific filters to block types of content you find inappropriate. This isn’t just something to apply to youth; plenty of adults prefer to filter out pornographic and other types of content – like hate and violence.  The appropriateness of some types of content will change as children mature; other types of content may always be unacceptable. To find the tools that best fit your family’s needs, search for parental-control or family-safety-tool reviews.
  3. Keep in mind that these tools need to be installed on every device your child uses to go online: game consoles, cell phones, tablets, personal laptops and computers. Some services have coverage for all types of devices, others are limited to just computers or phones. You may find that using a single solution on all devices makes your monitoring much easier.
  4. Periodically look at your children’s browser history. There are a number of phrases youth use to get around pornography filters – like “breast feeding” and “childbirth” – and some fast-changing slang terms that filters may not have caught up with like “walking the dog,” which is a slang term for sex. If you see odd search terms, give the sites a quick look.
  5. Have your children restrict access to their social networking sites to only known friends, and keep their sites private. A great deal of pornography is shared among private albums on social networking sites.
  6. Scan the photos on your child’s cell phone once in a while. While the youngest kids aren’t sexting, by the time they’ve hit their tweens they have begun participating in this type of behavior. Let your children know that every so often you will sit down with them and go through the pictures they have stored on their phone.
  7. Review the applications your child has downloaded to their phone or tablet. Mobile content filters may not catch all the potentially inappropriate apps.
  8. You are your strongest tool. No technical blocking solution alone is enough to protect a determined child or teen from finding pornography online. Have the “talk” on an ongoing basis with your children and spouse about the content your family finds appropriate and inappropriate; this exchange should never be a one-time conversation. Read more

 

More recommended sites:

 

Guard Your Eyes – Maintaining Moral Purity in Today’s World

 

“Pornography addiction has its roots in the viewing and hoarding of magazine and video pornography. However, these days porn addicts have new and frighteningly powerful enablers: the Internet, Smartphones, and social media. Porn addicts today can feed their Internet porn problem by viewing online still photos, downloading porn videos, or by having webcam sex (paid and unpaid). Some use the Internet to simply view images while others eventually end up using the Internet as a vehicle to meet with anonymous sexual partners. The ‘new media’ of smartphones offers some addicts instant phone-based porn downloads along with wherever/whenever live video streaming of sexual activities, while Facebook can leave some cruising images and profiles for hours on end.   What is porn addiction? Similar to someone with a chemical or substance addiction, porn addicts tend to replace important relationships and commitments with their “drug” of choice: pornography. Non-Internet porn addicts can be found in places like strip clubs and adult bookstores, but it is unlikely that they have a strip club addiction or an adult bookstore addiction, but rather that they have consistent and compulsive sexual problems that manifest in different ways”.

For over 15 years, I have been journaling in a spiral notebook.  I use this tool as an opportunity to reflect on my life and get closer to God.  Now, I enjoy alternating my journal entries online for others to enjoy.  Nobody reads my notebooks, not even me.  Rather, it’s like going to a meeting and sharing random thoughts.  Most people can’t remember what I said last month or even care.  However, I know that I must apply the tools of the program every day.  So, I benefit tremendously.  More importantly, I hope others can identify with my feelings and ideas and not feel so isolated, which is what our addiction wants.

The above reading helps me define precisely what my major form of compulsive behavior is.  I didn’t start going to strip clubs until I was about 35 years old, just after I got engaged.  Up until then, I generally thought those places were for losers, because I could always find women to have sex with in public places.  However, for the past 2 years or so, my disease has gone more “underground”.  I am afraid of infidelity (marital disloyalty; unfaithfulness. a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression. adultery – voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man or woman and a partner other than the legal spouse).  Thus, if I don’t leave the house I’m essentially avoiding the temptation.

SA has introduced a lot of terms that I never understood.  For example, I was guilty of fornication (voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other) from the age of 18 till 35.  I am turning 45 this year, and thank God I never cheated on my wife.  However, I am ashamed that I lust after other women in my mind.  I get a tremendous high looking at images on the Internet which always leads to masturbation.

I was celibate for the first 18 years (abstention from sexual relations. the state of being unmarried), abstinent from sex with my wife for about 6 months in a row, and totally abstinent from all sex for about 2 months since I was legal age.  More importantly, I went 100 days in a row back in 2010 of sexual sobriety according to the SA White Book definition.

As I was looking up some of these terms, I also found it interesting to note that I have never committed buggery (unnatural intercourse with a man. sodomy refers to anal sex or other non-penile/vaginal copulation-like acts, especially between male persons or between a person and an animal).  There are many forms of sexual acting out that the SA literature describes and the bottom line is — “I AM A SEXAHOLIC”.  One of my biggest problems is beating myself up.  I am very ambitious and I can be very hard on myself.  Just for today, I plan to be honest, unselfish, humble, empathetic, loving and pure.  This next reading below (reference unknown) gave me hope that I feel very grateful that I am still married.

“If masturbation becomes obsessive it will lead to a loss of control in the life just like gluttony or any other form of appetite gone astray.  The young person should be taught to confess the sin of appetite which is out of control rather than to tell them that they are sexually perverted or nasty.  The sin is that of not letting the Holy Spirit lead in appetites.

Another way in which masturbation is, without a doubt, sinful is when it is accompanied by the use of pornography, filthy music, or even mental fantasies of women other than the spouse. This is so common that it is assumed to be the only method of masturbating. Of course, many young people do NOT start out in their first masturbating venture with ANY fantasy. They have no history to work with mentally.

The older a man gets, the more he accumulates a mental history which feeds fantasy, and thus, the more tempted he will be to sin by mental lust as he masturbates. This is why Paul convinces Timothy to “flee youthful lusts.” We said that masturbation is NOT called sin in the Bible, but sexual lust for a women IS called sin by Jesus. To add masturbation to this mental “youthful lust” will insure trouble by and by. So, it IS true that masturbation is easily perverted by fetishes of the mind or magazine. I knew a man who fantasized in lust for a woman in the church fellowship while he masturbated, and whenever he came to church and saw the woman, he blushed with shame. So, this IS a danger for sure.

DOES MASTURBATION SERVE ANY GOOD PURPOSE?

When a husband and wife are separated against their will and one is having severe temptations with lust, masturbation can serve as a release for those drives.  This has saved many men from infidelity.  In that sense, and I suppose I shall be thrashed for this, I suggest that masturbation is a very useful solution.  Masturbation is also a release to young unmarried men.  We just don’t like to admit it.  Many a young man has defused a setting for fornication by masturbating ahead of time.  Cold showers are fine, but they don’t last.  Of course, a young man can further help this struggle greatly by making sure he is only found in modest company.”


 

Web Categories To Block: This contains various pre-configured filter levels (High, Default, Moderate and Minimal). It also contains the options for [Monitor], which will not filter any websites but will log all browsing activity and [Custom] which will allow you to select which categories you wish K9 to block/allow.

Time Restrictions: This contains features which will allow you to block web access completely during the evening (NightGuard) or the time frame you desire (Custom).

Web Site Exceptions: This contains both your “Always Block” and “Always Allow” list which can be used to fine-tune your K9 filter policy. These are generally used to block or allow a particular website without blocking/allowing the entire category. This also contains the feature “Blacklist Without Password” which allows non-admin users to add sites to the “Always Block” list without requiring the K9 admin password.  Read more

SA International in Spain

Around March, 2009 after attending several SA International Conventions, I decided to contribute to Sexaholics Anonymous on their Wikipedia page with some facts of my own experience and knowledge.  I began my journey in SA around 1995 after a couple years in AA.  Then in July, 2013 I helped with the registrations for a very successful International Convention in Maryland – “Change on the Chesapeake”.  About this time I had completed all the research necessary to accurately publish the history of conventions since inception in July, 1981.

All SA & S-Anon conventions from inception to 2016 have been held in the United States, except July 1992 and July 1997 which were both held in Canada. In 2017, the first SA International Convention was held outside North America in Israel, Middle East. In January 2019 we held our first International Convention in Madrid, Spain – “Living in the Slogans“.

Portada

Connecting Sexaholics 365 days per year across the Globe