What’s in your TOOLKIT today?

Do you have a hammer?  Do you need a hammer? Do you hammer other people?  Are you kind or are you gentle?  Perhaps, you need a rubber mallet.

Regardless, I was told, I must keep my tools nice and sharp.  How about a tool chest?


How I Overcame My Obsession with Lust

“…By letting God do it. Because I couldn’t. But God could and would—and did. But I had to go to meetings to learn things like that… Going to meetings and working the Steps; that’s how I did it. That’s how I learned to let “the grace of God enter to expel the obsession.” Here’s what worked for me:

  1. Stop practicing the compulsion. I stopped acting out sexually in any and all forms, including sex with myself and non-marital relationships. There could be no relief from the obsession of lust while still practicing the acts of lust.
  2. Stop feeding the obsession. This meant eliminating from what was under my control all printed and visual materials and other symbols of my tyranny. I had to stop feeding my lusttool-chest by looking around, in my use of television, movies, and music; and by using and listening to the language of lust. I also had to stop living only and always inside my own head. That’s one of the great fringe benefits of going to a lot of meetings. Most of us sexaholics really live on the inside of our heads; we’re seldom in the real world.
  3. Participate in the fellowship of the program. I don’t know of anyone who can stay sober and free of the obsession of lust without such fellowship. I couldn’t. Fellowship is where the action is, where the magic is, where Connection is, where feeling part of is.  At first, all I could do was attend meetings. Then I followed the suggestion of getting involved in the mechanics of meetings: setting up, cleaning up, holding jobs such as literature chairman, treasurer, or secretary. Getting involved made me feel I could be part of, instead of apart from—my old nemesis. Later, I would be able to go out for coffee, start meeting with others one-on-one, and begin the painful but necessary process of growing up by coming out.” (SA WB pg. 158)

Keep your opinions to yourself

How many times have you heard that?  Ever met a bully? Know anyone who is a bully?  Ever heard of the “bleeding deacon and the elderly statesman”?  You know what they say about opinions and a**holes?

We are very, very concerned about what other people think?  In fact, our entire program is based upon the principle of “we are many and varied”.  Thus, we encourage feedback – good, bad or indifferent.

Tools designed to encourage participation

  1. Reply to any of our pages and blogs anonymously Read more
  2. Leave an anonymous comment online in our Q&A Section
  3. Send us an email to info@saphonemeeting.org
  4. Respond to our Online Survey
  5. Complete New Meeting Form online
  6. Join our Newsletter
  7. Attend our regular Website Committee meetings
  8. Give us a Phone Call (available to Members ONLY)

Results

  • RAC Census
  • Below are the answers from the Survey link above

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Condemn, attack, lambaste

Do you want to be RIGHT or do you want to be HAPPY?

Today on the Daily Sobriety Renewal, our secretary (AKA trusted servant) admitted he got ‘rattled’ when someone was not on mute while he was reading / sharing and lost his train of thought.

More importantly, the SA 08:30 DSR has become very ‘controlling’ and I feel the need to speak up to protect the 12 Traditions.

Here is what Roy K. has to say in our Basic text…

“MEETINGS ~ HOW THE WORK: As I come into the fellowship, I’m confronted with my disease. First, in my initial contacts with other members; then in meeting after meeting…
By not imposing uniformity. We don’t prescribe doing the Steps by formula or in exactly the same way some other member does them. We do the Steps in our own way and time; we ‘Live and Let Live.’ But working the Steps does work for us…

MEETING GUIDELINES: We can benefit from the unwritten guidelines that have contributed so profoundly to the success of other Twelve Step program meetings and have proven as valuable in our own.

Leaders of meetings are servants of that meeting. They don’t “carry” the meeting; they merely facilitate it. A common mistake of those who have no prior Twelve Step meeting experience is to feel they must comment on everything that is said or “help out” in some way by giving “the answer.” The effective leader surrenders this impulse and lets the meeting work itself.

The leader of the meeting does not have to acknowledge a raised hand; he or she can call on someone else. They can interrupt the one talking, if it is called for. This is in line with our common tradition. At the same time, a good meeting is one where the leader’s presence is inconspicuous and non-controlling.”

(SA WB pg. 185-189)

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MEMBERSHIP RULES?

Around 1943 or 1944, the Central Office asked the groups to list
their membership rules and send them in. After they arrived we set
them all down. A littlereflection upon these many rules brought us to an astonishing conclusion.

If all of these edicts had been in force everywhere at once it would
have been practically impossible for any alcoholic to have ever
joined A.A. About nine-tenth of our oldest and best members could
never have got by!

At last experience taught us that to make away any alcoholic’s full
chance for sobriety in A.A. was sometimes to pronounce his death
sentence, and often to condemn him to endless misery. Who dared to be judge, jury, and executioner of his own sick brother?

1. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1946
2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 141

As Bill Sees It (pg. 41) => http://saphonemeeting.org/images/AsBillSeesIt.pdf

P.S.  Definition of “edict” – a decree issued by a sovereign or other authority. Any authoritative proclamation or command.

———————————

Here are some more references:

* http://saphonemeeting.org/blog/heres-to-the-crazy-ones

* http://saphonemeeting.org/blog/listen-silent

* http://saphonemeeting.org/blog/are-you-disturbed

——————————–

Feel free to share this with others. I personally get very, very upset when moderators & others CRITICIZE and/or INTERUPT others.

We are ALL equal.

Losing face is EXTREMELY disturbing! More importantly, notice the first word in the first step is “WE”.

criticize—indicate the faults of (someone or something) in a disapproving way. Form and express a sophisticated judgment.

synonyms: censure, denounce, condemn, attack, lambaste, scorn, disparage, denigrate, give bad press to, run down.

interrupt—stop or break the continuous progress of (an activity or process).

synonyms: cut in, break in, barge in, intervene, put one’s oar in, put one’s two cents in, interject.

Peace, Love & Service

Mysticism

Have you ever felt like you were under a spell when looking at a woman (or man, for that matter)?

This came up in our SA face-to-face meeting this past week.  The person shared how he was “spellbound” at times staring at women, or even worse talking to a very attractive female.  Definition—having ​your ​attention ​completely ​held by something, so that you cannot ​think about anything ​else.

Being in a trance—a half-conscious state characterized by an absence of response to external stimuli, typically as induced by hypnosis.  The other day, I found myself completely aroused by another woman and notice I started flirting more and more to the point of orgasm while I was talking to her.

hypnosis

During hypnosis, a person is said to have heightened focus and concentration. The person can concentrate intensely on a specific thought or memory, while blocking out sources of distraction. Hypnotized subjects are said to show an increased response to suggestions.  Hypnosis is usually induced by a procedure known as a hypnotic induction involving a series of preliminary instructions and suggestion. The use of hypnotism for therapeutic purposes is referred to as “hypnotherapy”, while its use as a form of entertainment for an audience is known as “stage hypnosis”. Stage hypnosis is often performed by Mentalists practicing the art form of Mentalism. Read more

Next time you find yourself in that TRANCE, think about a Spelling Bee or the Alfred Hitchcock movie. Read more

Mysticism is “a constellation of distinctive practices, discourses, texts, institutions, traditions, and experiences aimed at human transformation, variously defined in different traditions.”

The term “mysticism” has Ancient Greek origins with various historically determined meanings. Derived from the Greek word μυω, meaning “to conceal”,[web 1] mysticism referred to the biblical liturgical, spiritual, and contemplative dimensions of early and medieval Christianity. During the early modern period, the definition of mysticism grew to include a broad range of beliefs and ideologies related to “extraordinary experiences and states of mind”.

In modern times, “mysticism” has acquired a limited definition, with broad applications, as meaning the aim at the “union with the Absolute, the Infinite, or God”. This limited definition has been applied to a wide range of religious traditions and practices, valuing “mystical experience” as a key element of mysticism.

Since the 1960s scholars have debated the merits of perennial and constructionist approaches in the scientific research of “mystical experiences”; the perennial position is now “largely dismissed by scholars”. Read more https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mysticism

Lastly, when I was 22, I traveled to the United Kingdom and happen to see Michael Hutchence perform live in concert at Wembley stadium.  One of his famous songs was Mystify.

Defacto

Top three (3) “pet pieves”

(1) When phone meetings began, they used antiquated phone lines that regularly failed and you could not get through.
Thank God they (being VIG, or more specifically Marshall in CA and Jeff in Maine) upgraded the lines to more robust service called www.freeconference.com

(2) Another problem was the script and/or meeting format.  Especially, Daily Sobriety Renewal (DSR) questions. Rather then callers struggling to understand the correct answer, stay on topic, especially newcomers, and moderator having to repeat questions over and over. Post each group’s variation of the DSRs online. That has been arguably one of the biggest advantages of having a dedicated website representing each group (each hour is a different group), yet there are essentially three main lines.

(3) Regarding the Mute Feature If only VIG – account holder enabled the “mute feature” by default on these lines, callers would eventually get into the habit of being more responsible and the quality of the meetings would improve exponentially, not to mention consistency.  As it stands, calls continue to fluctuate wildly and when people are not on mute, meeting becomes organized kaos.
peaceFor example, we use these benefits @ 7am Breakfast Club meeting.

It is a proven fact, that human nature drives us to find faults with others before we notice the strengths.  For example, about a few months after the www.saphonemeeting.org was established in 2009, friend of mine came over to my house to discuss the “Pros & Cons” of using the so-called mass mute feature on the teleconference.

As most of you know, I came into AA about 2-3 years before I found SA (1992 & 1995) respectfully.  Back then, there was no such  thing as phone meetings or even cell phones, for that matter.   The term “Dial them, don’t file them” was coined.

On a different note, if you don’t have the patience to sit through a very challenging phone meeting at times, perhaps you would enjoy listening to a SA speaker from your phone.

SA Recordings
Dial: 253-243-2945
Pin: 1552#
(Speakers include Harvey, Jesse, AA, and more)

You can also download FREE *.mp3 files and talks here => http://www.mediafire.com/dailyreprieve

Peace