Children are God’s little blessings.

I was just talking to a friend of mine in Utah.  He is a single Dad with two kids – daughter and son, just like me.

I told him, I have lots of friends in Sexaholics Anonymous that fall into one of the following categories:

1. Single, never married, no children
2. Single, divorced, no children
3. Married, no children
4. Single, adult children (over age 18)
5. Married, adult children (over age 18)

I am married going on 14 years and have a 11 year old daughter and a 9 year old son.  Both of them have NEVER seen me drink or get high.  I used to be an terrible addict and ODAAT I am getting better, thanks to SA.  Incidentally, my AA sobriety date is 11/7/96.

So, what’s the point?

The point is this.  It is very hard talking to people sometimes who don’t have young children because I don’t think they understand how DIFFICULT life can be raising them.  Even if their children are grown up, they probably are forgot or are certainly not feeling nearly the anxiety that I feel on a daily basis.

And to make matters worse, I have been really struggling in my career.  I had a great job 1-1/2 years ago as a college professor.  Unfortunately, I was fired because I could not relate better to the students.  Truthfully, I think I may have been too strict on them because I was punishing them for the mistakes I made as an undergraduate student and wanted to teach them a VALUABLE lesson.  Study hard.  Don’t take education for granted.

“How shall we come to terms with seeming failure or success? Can we now accept and adjust to either without despair or pride? Can we accept poverty, sickness, loneliness, and bereavement with courage and serenity? Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us?” (AA Daily Reflections 12/26)

Today’s meditation brings up several thoughts today:

1. Xmas Presents.
2. New Year’s resolutions. Six days left in 2015.
3. Promises & Regret
4. 3rd & 7th Step Prayers

No one can go back in time to change what has happened, so work on your present to make yourself a wonderful future.   Read more

Devil’s Advocate—a person who expresses a contentious opinion in order to provoke debate or test the strength of the opposing arguments.
“the interviewer will need to play devil’s advocate to put the other side’s case forward”

“Vanity – is defenitely my favourite sin”

Vanity—excessive pride in one’s appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit: Failure to be elected was a great blow to his vanity.

What is “normal / healthy” intimacy?

Thank God for the feedback regarding groping – to search for something by reaching or touching usually with your fingers in an awkward way; to touch (someone) in an unwanted and unexpected sexual way.

“I could see a girl in a bikini on a billboard five years ago and it wouldn’t bother me; now, I go to pieces and lose my mind over it.”
“Lust throws my whole system out of whack. I lose my equilibrium, my control, and have to recover as if from a poison.”  SA WB pg. 32

Covenant Eyes
Internet Accountability and Filtering

grope—feel about or search blindly or uncertainly with the hands.
“she got up and groped for her spectacles”

fumble, scrabble, fish, ferret, rummage, feel, search, hunt
“she groped for her glasses”

search mentally with hesitation or uncertainty for (a word or answer).
“she was groping for the words which would express what she thought”

move along with difficulty by feeling objects as one goes.
“she blew out the candle and groped her way to the door”

informal—feel or fondle (someone) for sexual pleasure, especially against their will. “he was accused of groping office girls”.  synonyms: fondle, touch.

feminist; plural noun: feminists

a person who supports feminism.

of, relating to, or supporting feminism.
“feminist literature”

Do you have a hammer?  Do you need a hammer? Do you hammer other people?  Are you kind or are you gentle?  Perhaps, you need a rubber mallet.

Regardless, I was told, I must keep my tools nice and sharp.  How about a tool chest?

How I Overcame My Obsession with Lust

“…By letting God do it. Because I couldn’t. But God could and would—and did. But I had to go to meetings to learn things like that… Going to meetings and working the Steps; that’s how I did it. That’s how I learned to let “the grace of God enter to expel the obsession.” Here’s what worked for me:

1. Stop practicing the compulsion. I stopped acting out sexually in any and all forms, including sex with myself and non-marital relationships. There could be no relief from the obsession of lust while still practicing the acts of lust.
2. Stop feeding the obsession. This meant eliminating from what was under my control all printed and visual materials and other symbols of my tyranny. I had to stop feeding my lust by looking around, in my use of television, movies, and music; and by using and listening to the language of lust. I also had to stop living only and always inside my own head. That’s one of the great fringe benefits of going to a lot of meetings. Most of us sexaholics really live on the inside of our heads; we’re seldom in the real world.
3. Participate in the fellowship of the program. I don’t know of anyone who can stay sober and free of the obsession of lust without such fellowship. I couldn’t. Fellowship is where the action is, where the magic is, where Connection is, where feeling part of is.  At first, all I could do was attend meetings. Then I followed the suggestion of getting involved in the mechanics of meetings: setting up, cleaning up, holding jobs such as literature chairman, treasurer, or secretary. Getting involved made me feel I could be part of, instead of apart from—my old nemesis. Later, I would be able to go out for coffee, start meeting with others one-on-one, and begin the painful but necessary process of growing up by coming out.” (SA WB pg. 158)

Join our http://saphonemeeting.org/twitter.html and send a text message from your phone.

Also, try https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/SAonline/info which was started the when the SA Phone Meetings began.

Want something else?  Try these resources:

http://www.meetingsonline.com

http://stepchat.com

http://www.recovery-world.com/Recovery-World-Chat-Rooms.html

http://www.12steps.org/chatroom.htm

http://www.nachatroom.org

Have you ever felt like you were under a spell when looking at a woman (or man, for that matter)?

This came up in our SA face-to-face meeting this past week.  The person shared how he was “spellbound” at times staring at women, or even worse talking to a very attractive female.  Definition—having ​your ​attention ​completely ​held by something, so that you cannot ​think about anything ​else.

Being in a trance—a half-conscious state characterized by an absence of response to external stimuli, typically as induced by hypnosis.  The other day, I found myself completely aroused by another woman and notice I started flirting more and more to the point of orgasm while I was talking to her.

During hypnosis, a person is said to have heightened focus and concentration. The person can concentrate intensely on a specific thought or memory, while blocking out sources of distraction. Hypnotized subjects are said to show an increased response to suggestions.  Hypnosis is usually induced by a procedure known as a hypnotic induction involving a series of preliminary instructions and suggestion. The use of hypnotism for therapeutic purposes is referred to as “hypnotherapy”, while its use as a form of entertainment for an audience is known as “stage hypnosis”. Stage hypnosis is often performed by Mentalists practicing the art form of Mentalism. Read more

Next time you find yourself in that TRANCE, think about a Spelling Bee or the Alfred Hitchcock movie. Read more

Mysticism is “a constellation of distinctive practices, discourses, texts, institutions, traditions, and experiences aimed at human transformation, variously defined in different traditions.”

The term “mysticism” has Ancient Greek origins with various historically determined meanings. Derived from the Greek word μυω, meaning “to conceal”,[web 1] mysticism referred to the biblical liturgical, spiritual, and contemplative dimensions of early and medieval Christianity. During the early modern period, the definition of mysticism grew to include a broad range of beliefs and ideologies related to “extraordinary experiences and states of mind”.

In modern times, “mysticism” has acquired a limited definition, with broad applications, as meaning the aim at the “union with the Absolute, the Infinite, or God”. This limited definition has been applied to a wide range of religious traditions and practices, valuing “mystical experience” as a key element of mysticism.

Since the 1960s scholars have debated the merits of perennial and constructionist approaches in the scientific research of “mystical experiences”; the perennial position is now “largely dismissed by scholars”. Read more https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mysticism

Lastly, when I was 22, I traveled to the United Kingdom and happen to see Michael Hutchence perform live in concert at Wembley stadium.  One of his famous songs was Mystify.

Top three (3) “pet pieves”

(1) When phone meetings began, they used antiquated phone lines that regularly failed and you could not get through.
Thank God they (being VIG, or more specifically Marshall in CA and Jeff in Maine) upgraded the lines to more robust service called www.freeconference.com

(2) Another problem was the script and/or meeting format.  Especially, Daily Sobriety Renewal (DSR) questions. Rather then callers struggling to understand the correct answer, stay on topic, especially newcomers, and moderator having to repeat questions over and over. Post each group’s variation of the DSRs online. That has been arguably one of the biggest advantages of having a dedicated website representing each group (each hour is a different group), yet there are essentially three main lines.

(3) Regarding the Mute Feature If only VIG – account holder enabled the “mute feature” by default on these lines, callers would eventually get into the habit of being more responsible and the quality of the meetings would improve exponentially, not to mention consistency.  As it stands, calls continue to fluctuate wildly and when people are not on mute, meeting becomes organized kaos.
For example, we use these benefits @ 7am Breakfast Club meeting.

It is a proven fact, that human nature drives us to find faults with others before we notice the strengths.  For example, about a few months after the www.saphonemeeting.org was established in 2009, friend of mine came over to my house to discuss the “Pros & Cons” of using the so-called mass mute feature on the teleconference.

As most of you know, I came into AA about 2-3 years before I found SA (1992 & 1995) respectfully.  Back then, there was no such  thing as phone meetings or even cell phones, for that matter.   The term “Dial them, don’t file them” was coined.

On a different note, if you don’t have the patience to sit through a very challenging phone meeting at times, perhaps you would enjoy listening to a SA speaker from your phone.

SA Recordings
Dial: 253-243-2945
Pin: 1552#
(Speakers include Harvey, Jesse, AA, and more)

You can also download FREE *.mp3 files and talks here => http://www.mediafire.com/dailyreprieve

Peace

It’s very interesting how some people interpret “attraction rather than promotion” when someone makes an announcement at a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting.

According to our 11th Tradition, “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV.”

Notice that our very own SA Essay newsletter states that “opinions expressed are not to be attributed to SA as a whole, nor does publication of any article imply endorsement by SA”.

Thus, this also relates to “SAICO Conference Approved” literature, another controversial subject and often misunderstood.

It’s been my experience that some people get this mixed up with propaganda.  The definition means information, ideas, or rumors deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, movement, institution, nation, etc.

This interpretation sounds a lot like listening to the political debates in our country.  A lot of candidates say they will not engage in negative campaigns but do it anyway.  Consequently, there is a lot of rhetoric and false promises.  The definition of rhetoric (in writing or speech) is the undue use of exaggeration or display; bombast.

Meanwhile, in my opinion I think that what is really at the heart of most of these controversies is EGO (easing god out).  For example, using the political debates again as an example, how often do you hear candidates complain that so and so got more air time? Thus, they are essentially complaining about unfair treatment or favoritism.

Sure, it is generally obvious to the entire world when folks are grandstanding and showing off.  By definition, this is to conduct oneself or perform showily or ostentatiously in an attempt to impress onlookers.  So, if you find yourself talking a lot, perhaps you should read this article, click here.

We respect the Copyright laws of Sexaholics Anonymous.  Thus, we had to come up with our own logo for the SA Teleconference Website.

The #1 purpose of this web site is “To serve the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)”.

If you like the website, join our committee.  If you do NOT like our website, join our committee.  In other words, “we can do together what I cannot do alone”.  If you have a suggestion, constructive criticism, question, etc. then we welcome your input !

Nevertheless, where do you commonly see the man/woman logo?  At every restroom door, right?  Notice the S-Anon logo includes “Family Groups”.  Our official Sexaholics Anonymous logo has a very unique standard gender symbol denoting male ♂ and female ♀ .  This is derived from astrological symbols, denoting the classical planets Mars and Venus, respectively.

These symbols have been in use since the Renaissance also denoting elements in alchemy, specifically the metals iron and copper.

They were first used to denote the effective sex of plants (i.e. sex of individual in a given crossbreed, since most plants are hermaphroditic) by Carolus Linnaeus in 1751.

They are still used in scientific publications to indicate the sex of an individual, for example of a patient. Pedigree charts published in scientific papers now more commonly use a square for male and a circle for female.

The shape of the Mars symbol has been likened to an iron-tipped spear (i.e. a weapon mainly used by men) and shape of the Venus symbol to a bronze mirror or a distaff
(stereotypically associated with women in former centuries). Read more

Here is our logo for SAPhoneMeeting website…

We also have a “Splash page” that changes frequently.  Currently we are featuring the band Cold Play who played during the Super Bowl L halftime show.

All music is what awakes from you when you are reminded by the instruments.
—Walt Whitman

A small group of friends sat in a room around a record player. It was a heavy old thing, with parts that had to be operated by hand and only one speaker – nothing like a modern stereo at all, but more like an antique phonograph. The record – a recording of their favorite music – was old, too, and scratched, its grooves worn smooth as a stone in some places. The tone arm skipped and scratched, and the sound was tinny, hard on the ears.

Most of the friends squirmed in their seats as they listened, and several grumbled that it was impossible to hear the music with such inferior equipment.

But one of the group sat listening, her eyes closed, swaying to the music and humming softly to herself.

“How can you enjoy this?” the others asked.

“Ah,” she said with a mysterious smile. “I am listening beyond the recording to the music I know is there!”

Can I find the music that’s playing for me today?

(From Today’s Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.)