Wow, I cannot believe that so many people are unaware of the OBVIOUS. Our SA Phone Meeting directory of phone numbers and access codes are “publicly available” on the Internet. However, when people join a teleconference, they sometimes forget that anyone could be listening.
“We also use telephone meetings with two or more members, using the three-way calling feature available in many cities.”
That is why the “Virtual Intergroup” fought so hard for over 10 years to convince the SAICO Trustees and members of Sexaholics Anonymous that the “phone meetings” met a need. Particularly to those that are unable to attend “face-to-face meetings” in their area, those that are disabled and even those traveling and away from their local home group.
Tradition Three states, “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober.” Yet, there are many people who would rather BAN someone then focus on their own Character Defects. In fact, many years ago I read a story about a guy, namely Jesus Christ who was crucified for his strange beliefs and behavior (Read more).
Recently, we are in LOCK-DOWN, due to the Coronavirus / COVID-19 Pandemic and many people are frustrated they cannot get to their local meetings. WOW. Boy, those Trustees sure did not see this coming 15 years ago (Read more).
Getting Started
Are you new? Are you confused? Do you have Mis-Perceptions? Click here
Step “Zero”
“There is an unwritten step underlying all twelve. Call it Step Zero: “We participated in the fellowship of the program.” No one seems able to stay sober and progress in recovery without it, though some try. For most of us, without associating in some way with other recovering individuals, there is no lasting sobriety and none of the fringe benefits of recovery, growth, freedom, and joy. This holds true even for “loners” (those without groups). We don’t try to explain this; it is simply a fact.
We begin by meeting regularly with other members. If there is no group where we live, we start one ourselves, even if it is meeting with only one other member. Fellowship is that crucial to our recovery. We can’t do it alone. We pray to be led to another sexaholic who will want to hear our story, then we follow all leads that come to our attention. We contact the SA Central Office for any contacts there may be in our area and ask for materials and know-how. (See part III and Appendix 3.) Many groups have started in just such a manner. Long distances may separate members at first; some travel more than a hundred miles to meet with others.
Commit yourself to your group, whether it is being formed or is operating but still small. Attend every meeting on time. This ensures maximum benefit to you and the group, which cannot have continuity without regular participants. The measure of such commitment will be the measure of your recovery.
We also use telephone meetings with two or more members, using the three-way calling feature available in many cities. Some members subscribe to discount long-distance phone service for considerable savings. Speaker phones enable a loner to sit in remotely. We augment this by letter writing and attending other types of Twelve Step meetings, many of which are open to the public. Much benefit can be gained there in learning how to apply the Steps in one’s life and in seeing how meetings are run (Coup d’etat).
We cannot put this strongly enough: Experience has shown us that we must be part of others or we cannot maintain effective surrender, see ourselves rightly, or work the Steps. Without regular participation in the fellowship, there seems to be no recovery”. (Sexaholics Anonymous, White Book, pages 63-64).
Can’t see the forest through the trees.
An expression used of someone who is too involved in the details of a problem to look at the situation as a whole. When a person focuses too much on small detail (trees), and misses the big picture (forest). It would be like someone needing to paint an entire house in one day, but spending half the day on picking out the right color (Read more).
Recently, I joined an SA Phone Meeting and I heard another woman share about Penguins. Penguins have to keep high body temperatures to remain active. They have thick skin and lots of fat (blubber) under their skin to keep warm in cold weather. They also huddle together with their friends to keep warm. What Penguins Can Teach Us About Team Work (Read more).