{"id":2338,"date":"2020-04-18T00:00:21","date_gmt":"2020-04-18T05:00:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/?p=2338"},"modified":"2020-04-20T10:21:50","modified_gmt":"2020-04-20T15:21:50","slug":"patience-is-a-virtue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/patience-is-a-virtue\/","title":{"rendered":"Patience is a Virtue"},"content":{"rendered":"

Patience<\/strong>—The ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset is a valuable quality in a person; the ability to wait calmly; the capacity to accept delay without getting angry.<\/p>\n

Virtue<\/strong>—a quality or trait that most people consider to be morally good or desirable in a person<\/p>\n

Quick Quiz:\u00a0 “Patience is a Virtue” suggests that getting angry when you have to wait is:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. a good personal trait<\/li>\n
  2. a bad personal trait<\/li>\n
  3. a sign of patience<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    For the record when I first came into SA in 1995 one of the first things that I became resentful at was “TIME LIMITS” on shares.<\/p>\n

    Generally speaking at 90% or more of AA meetings there is no time limit on a shares.\u00a0 How do you put a time limit on the “Language of the Heart” by setting restrictions, parameters and stipulations? Time Limits have their ADVANTAGES, don’t get me wrong.\u00a0 However, it has been my experience it creates controversy, contention and aggravates patience!!!<\/p>\n

    I would add, once you establish a time limit, then you need a time keeper.\u00a0 however, that responsibility is much greater than one person.\u00a0 then the entire meeting and group takes on a DIFFERENT atmosphere.<\/p>\n

    Thus, in addition to the secretary and\/or ONE time keeper, you end up having 3, 4, 5 and perhaps 20 or more time keepers.\u00a0\u00a0 Then, the call EXPECTATIONS become more focused on HOW LONG you talk instead of WHAT you talk about.<\/p>\n

    Quantity vs. Quality<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    This is a chronic problem with Sexaholics Anonymous because we are almost forced to share our sobriety date during introductions.\u00a0 Similarly, it’s a CONTEST of “Length of Sobriety” vs. Quality of Sobriety.\u00a0 Shame because you don’t have enough time or that nobody is willing to listen long enough to get to the truth.\u00a0 Sad.<\/p>\n

    What are your thoughts on time limits?<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \n

     <\/p>\n

    WOW, in case you are wondering I stated my apologies up front that I will “probably do it wrong, but I will be trying as best as I can”.\u00a0 Thus, it is absolutely amazing that we join this call to try and support one another but unfortunately, we are all VICTIMS of Sex Addiction.\u00a0 Thus, we all struggle with a “mental illness” that our literature says we are “self-centered”.<\/p>\n

    So, even though I volunteered to be your “trusted servant” and it helps me to stay engaged in the meeting and more attentive on the call, I am quickly reminded that the DISEASE or (DIS-EASE) is much stronger than my best intentions.\u00a0 Specifically, “Dan from Illinois” who took it upon himself to step on my toes and replace me.\u00a0 For the record, the secretary who shared first went over the 120 second time limit, then the 2nd caller went over, and the 3rd caller went over, etc.<\/p>\n

    Why is it that nobody has any conception of time?\u00a0 See, in my opinion it comes down to CONTROL.\u00a0 We are incapable of controlling our disease of addiction.\u00a0 The serenity prayer reminds us all, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things we cannot change…”.\u00a0 Thus, people places and things. “Control freaks, trying to control other control freaks.”\u00a0 Furthermore, I realize this sounds a little cynical, critical and self-righteous BUT… “Stay in your own lane”!!! Mind your own business.\u00a0 Live and Let Live.\u00a0 It’s embarrassing. Rude. ROLE MODEL.\u00a0 Walk the walk, don’t just Talk the Talk.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \n

    “Selfishness\u2014self-centeredness!<\/h2>\n

    That, we think, is the\u00a0root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of\u00a0fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step\u00a0on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes\u00a0they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but\u00a0we invariably find that at some time in the past we<\/p>\n

    have made decisions based on self which later placed\u00a0us in a position to be hurt.<\/p>\n

    So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own\u00a0making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic\u00a0is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he\u00a0usually doesn\u2019t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics\u00a0must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it\u00a0kills us! God makes that possible. And there often\u00a0seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without\u00a0His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions\u00a0galore, but we could not live up to them even\u00a0though we would have liked to. Neither could we\u00a0reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying\u00a0on our own power. We had to have God\u2019s help.<\/p>\n

    This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to\u00a0quit playing God<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

    (AA BB pg. 62)\u00a0Click here<\/a><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Patience—The ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset is a valuable quality in a person; the ability to wait calmly; the capacity to accept delay without getting angry. Virtue—a quality or trait that most people consider to be morally good or desirable in a person Quick Quiz:\u00a0 “Patience is a Virtue” suggests … Continue reading Patience is a Virtue<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2338"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2338"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2338\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2553,"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2338\/revisions\/2553"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/saphonemeeting.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}