Website Project Updates

This website gets updated on average every day.  To keep-up-date, please Join our Mailing List =>

Daily Meetings (7 days per week): 10
Individual Meetings (1-6 days per week): 12
Skype Meetings: 11
Women Only Meetings: 2
Total: over 101 meetings per week and growing

Additional references:


Attention Developers

  1. Time zone chart
  2. Manual configurationdevelopers-logo
  3. Import into iPhone or Android
  4. Geo location strategy
  5. Automatic Alerts
  6. Text message reminders

Meetings are coded based on the following criteria:  (Start day/date in January thru December)

  • Recurs Never
  • Recurs Yearly – 365 Times per year (daily)Globe Icon: WordPress
  • Recurs Weekly – 52 Times per year (weekly)

WordPress started in 2003 with a single bit of code to enhance the typography of everyday writing and with fewer users than you can count on your fingers and toes. Since then it has grown to be the largest self-hosted blogging tool in the world, used on millions of sites and seen by tens of millions of people every day.

Everything you see on this website, would not be possible without the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous community. WordPress is an Open Source project, which means there are hundreds of people all over the world working on it. However, we need members to get involved as well, to make this site our own.

The Google Calendar API lets you develop client applications that create new events, edit or delete existing events, and search for events. We need people who have experience coding in various programming languages (currently Java, Python, PHP, .NET and Ruby).  We have developed our site to display Calendar data that has evolved over the past 7 years, and synchronize online giving the best user experience and a state-of-the-art platform on your desktop, laptop and even your smartphone (iPhone, Android, etc.).

SA Recordings

If you are looking for a way to listen to talks from other SA members 24×7 days a week, we have a solution. You can download FREE *.mp3 files to your iPhone and listen anytime at your convenience. Click here

We also have a dedicated phone line with audio tapes available to listen to by calling the following phone number. Dial: 845-859-1190 | Pin: 1552# | (Speakers include Harvey, Jesse, AA, and more)


Voice Prompt Menu Commands

Press 1 for AA
1 – Big Book Studies
1 – Joe & Charlie
2 – Scott & Bob
3 – Back to Basics – Wally & Brenda
4 – Big Book Adventures – Chris & Dave
5 – Dub Guy Approach
6 – Scott R. on 12 Steps

2 – AA Humor Series
1 – We are not a Glum lot – Vol. 1
2 – We are not a Glum lot – Vol. 2
3 – Whino Joe

3 – AA Speakers
1 – Sandy B.
2 – Ralph P. on Humility
3 – Joe H. on Spiritual Awakening
4 – Montana Bob on 12 Traditions
5 – Chris & Myers R.
6 – Clancy I.
7 – Chuck C.

4 – Recording of the Books
1 – Recordings of the Big Book
2 – Recordings of the 12 & 12

5 – Recordings of Conventions
1 – Far Corner Retreats

Press 2 for SA
1 – Harvey
2 – Hanna
3 – Jess L.
4 – Best of SA
5 – What we were like and what happened
6 – Roy K.

7 – Reading of the White Book by Roy K.
(1) Problem
(2) Preface
(3) To the Newcomer
(4) A Personal Story
(6) Sexaholism—The Addiction
(7) Lust—The Force Behind the Addiction
(8) The Spiritual Basis of Addiction
(9) The Solution
(10) Getting Started.

8 – Bed B.
9 – 12 Step Workshop

0 – go back to main menu
# – instructions
3 – fast forward 10 sec
9 – fast forward 1 min.
6 – fast forward 3 min.
1 – rewind 10 sec.
7 – rewind 1 min.
4 – rewind 3 min.
5 – pause / resume
* – louder
# – softer

Press # at the main menu to listen to last recording since you hung up

9 to add speaker
8 for updates & instructions > 1 – updates / 2 – instructions

See Menu > Literature > Additional Resources > Multimedia
XA Speakers, Ed & Chad Collections for more info.

Coup d’état

Adolf HitlerToday was a perfect example of the ole expression, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”.

Yesterday and today at the Noon SA Phone Meeting, there was a lot of controversy, mostly related to “principles before personalities”, which is written in our 12th Tradition.


It started when I read the SA Purpose and gave special attention to the wording “…does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sexually sober and help others to achieve sexual sobriety.”

I intentionally read that this reading is “Reprinted for adaptation with permission of the Alcoholics Anonymous Grapevine. Copyright The AA Grapevine, Inc.” and someone on the call took offense to that.

Wow.  I often wonder if people have anything better to do with their time when they get on the teleconference and complain about other members, or me specifically as the moderator / secretary of the meeting.

I learned over 20 years ago, “whoever complains about the coffee, is next week’s coffee maker”.

“Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern” according to our 2nd Tradition.

A coup d’état literally “blow of state”; or an overthrow, is the sudden and illegal seizure of a state, usually instigated by a small group of the existing government establishment to depose the established regime and replace it with a new ruling body. A coup d’état is considered successful when the usurpers establish their dominance and legitimacy. If a coup fails, a civil war may ensue.  Read more

Well, unless I’m wrong, I believe my “higher power – GOD” is trying to tell me something.  I decided that I will take a break for a few weeks, maybe a few months.  I submitted my letter of resignation, already.

The good news is, I already feel better.  Because if the truth be told, it was going to get more and more challenging as the little league baseball season heats up.  Plus, my son is participating on a boys choir.  My daughter is very active in her schools’ drama program and lacrosse is just around the corner.

Josef StalinI certainly have better things to do with my time then to engage in controversy.  I feel like the victim sometimes.

“Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so.” (AA BB pg. 62)

I firmly believe that there may always be people more sober, recovered and healthier than I, but I would challenge no one loves SA more than I.

“How sweet it is to see how sweet it is” was the old slogan at the AA ODAAT meeting in my area.  In other words, when I really examine my life, I have nothing to complain about.  Getting sober in Sexaholics Anonymous and better yet, staying sober for any length of time is one of the biggest joys I can experience.

The other day, an elder statesman from the call informed me about the Bible reference “7 x 70 = 490 times Jesus told Peter he needed to forgive others”.

In this image taken from video North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, center, salutes during a military parade marking the 65th anniversary of the country’s founding, Monday, Sept. 9, 2013, in Pyongyang, North Korea. (AP Photo/KRT via AP Video) TV OUT, NORTH KOREA OUT” width=”300″ height=”150″ />

I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations, for my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance.

Elder statesmen and bleeding deacons; reading same thing yesterday and someone cut me off.

White Book is outside SAICO.

Hands Services Inc.
ATTN: SA Publications
3947 Landmark St
Culver City, CA 90232

Read more

Phone numbers are not controlled by the group.

SAICO has participated with

Am I in my group a healing, mending, integrating person, or am I divisive? What about gossip and taking other members’ inventories?

Am I a peacemaker? Or do I, with pious preludes such as “just for the sake of discussion,” plunge into argument?

Am I gentle with those who rub me the wrong way, or am I abrasive?

Do I make competitive AA remarks, such as comparing one group with


#1 no, no at any meeting; phone meetings tend to get a lot more rowdy;
face-to-face meeting – get sponsor suggested in script, don’t agree, temporary, glen 20 years of sa sobrity

civility, judgement goes out the window

railroad group conscience; make phone calls & email others asking people to attend to vote a certain way

we had several business meetings that i personally did not attend because i believe in the 2nd tradition

For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

A monarchy is a form of government in which sovereignty is actually or nominally embodied in one individual reigning until death or abdication. They are called monarchs. Forms of monarchy differ widely based on the level of legal autonomy the monarch holds in governance, the method of selection of the monarch, and any predetermined limits on the length of their tenure. When the monarch has no or few legal restraints in state and political matters, it is called an absolute monarchy, and is a form of autocracy. Cases in which the monarch’s discretion is formally limited, either by law or by convention, is called a constitutional monarchy. In hereditary monarchies, the office is passed through inheritance within a family group, whereas elective monarchies use some system of voting. Each of these has variations: in some elected monarchies only those of certain pedigrees are eligible, whereas many hereditary monarchies impose requirements regarding the religion, age, gender, mental capacity, and other factors. Occasionally this might create a situation of rival claimants whose legitimacy is subject to effective election. Finally, there have been cases where the term of a monarch’s reign is either fixed in years or continues until certain goals are achieved: an invasion being repulsed, for instance. Thus there are widely divergent structures and traditions defining monarchy. Read more

Dictatorship is a form of government where a country is ruled by one person or political entity, and exercised through various mechanisms to ensure the entity’s power remains strong.

A dictatorship is a type of authoritarianism, in which politicians regulate nearly every aspect of the public and private behavior the citizens. Dictatorships and totalitarianism generally employ political propaganda to decrease the influence of proponents of alternative governing systems, as is the nature of nationalism of any governing system.

In the 19th and 20th centuries, traditional monarchies gradually declined and disappeared. Dictatorship and constitutional democracy emerged as the world’s two major forms of government. Read more

Nemesis—the inescapable agent of someone’s or something’s downfall. synonyms: archrival, adversary, foe, opponent, arch enemy. Read more


Website Committee Meeting

Next Website Committee meeting is scheduled for
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
at 1:00pm EST
Dial: 712-432-0600
Access Code: 61-2034 #

The plan is to join the Noon Group “business meeting” beginning at 12:30pm and discuss the updates, improvements and changes to the group conscience approved website.  So, we will give a report and then switch over to the other line.  Join us early for a complete synopsis by Dialing: 605-475-6700  Access Code: 713-8664 #

Click here for Agenda (1/29/14) and Minutes (12/22/13).  Please send your suggestions to or you can add an anonymous comment below by replying to this Blog.

We will organize the meeting based on priorities and hot topics. Most importantly, we need participants who just want to listen and join us in the growth of SAPhoneMeetings online.

“I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of S.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible.”

Sober Voices

AA Telephone Meetings
Sober Voices Group

Dial: 712-432-0075
Code: 654-443#

Updated 09/14/14                                                                                                              Established 03/07/04
Everyday – AA Topic Discussion        12pm Noon EST

Sunday’s – BB Study                        10pm EST
Monday’s – Beginners                       10pmEST
Tuesday’s – Vision for You                 10pm EST
Wednesday’s – BB Study                  10pm EST
Thursday’s – 12×12                           10pmEST
Friday’s – Promises                          10pm EST
Saturday’s – Daily Reflections            10pm EST

Friday & Saturday Midnight Meetings 12am Midnight EST
(also AA Topic Discussions)

All meeting topics are suggested and the secretary has the right to change or improvise anything as needed, keeping with the spirit of AA and its traditions.  Our meeting outline contains most of the elements of the “AA Wallet Card” … AA Wallet Card Image

The Sober Voices Group telephone meetings are registered with our New York World Service Office and published
in the Eastern and Western States Directories.  Group #66-62-21.  We send our 7th Tradition contributions individually in care of our group number to G.S.O. in New York by phone, by mail or by internet at

The Sober Voices Group’s purpose is to reach out to our fellows with accessibility and special needs, for those who are  home bound, those remote areas and anyon
Sent from my Droid

Phone Etiquette in the last decade

The following script was originally written on December 22, 2004 by Paul S., founder of Sexaholics Anonymous Phone Bridge.

Suggested SA Phone Meeting Guidelines and Etiquette

(to be read periodically or when new members join, or if needed)
1. When qualifying or sharing, we try to avoid graphic terms that may trigger lust in some participants.  For example, many groups use the term “sex with self” in the place of masturbation. We also avoid the language of lust in other words please refrain from profanity….especially sexual words…..  such as the ‘F” bomb.

2. We also avoid mentioning specific geographic locations so as to not trigger others. For example one California caller mentioned all the beautiful people on a  certain commuter train line everyday and next thing a New Jersey regular was thinking how he needs to fly out and go on a commuter train 3000 miles away just to see if he can handle it…. Moral- please don’t hurt us by giving us new knowledge that our addicts can use.

3. In order for SA to remain a safe place for recovery, looking for acting-out or romantic partners in a phone meeting is strongly discouraged.  Therefore, caution needs to be exercised when calling each other between meetings. For example, it is suggested that phone numbers not be exchanged between male and female members.

4. Some people breathe more heavily than others and we may not realize it. So, we ask everyone to hold the mouthpiece of their telephone handset a bit away from their mouth and nose, unless they are speaking. Smokers are asked to blow away from the phone. Please mute your phone “before” you eat a bag of potato chips.

5. If we need to carry on with other activities during the call it is important to check with the group that we are not making noise that interferes with the meeting. Going outside and/or starting your car can be very distracting. Press the 5 key on your phone to mute and the 4 key to unmute and speak, or better yet save us the beeps and just use the mute button on your own phone.

6. Speakerphones do not transmit clear sound and pick up background noise, so we try to use speakerphone mode only if we are quietly listening.

7. To avoid interruptions during the meeting, it is suggested that we turn the ringer off the second line if we have a two-line phone and that we disable call-waiting by dialing *70 prior to calling the bridge number.  Call-waiting will automatically reset when we hang up.

8. Pets: If we’re on a small phone meeting our dog will probably woof at exactly the time needed for some comic relief, so it’s not usually a problem.  But if we’re on a large phone meeting and our dog, cat or orangutan gets frantic, it’s probably best to put them in another room! : )

9. By attending the meetings and sharing in a sober way (not a drunkalog, or everyday of how issues of 30 years ago or even thirty days ago have us stuck. We should encourage members who are stuck at insobriety per the White Book to get a sponsor, and work the Steps….. attend face to face meetings etc..

10. There is only one day we can do something about……Today.  In 1963  if  you had a realization that Donald Duck in Disneyland didn’t have any pants on but just a shirt, and it haunts you still, try therapy or whatever, but SA meetings are not the place to process it, especially day after day. We all know the problem. We do not share the problem in SA meetings. In SA we share the solution.

11. Doing service …by being prepared to chair the meetings and/or having literature handy when you call in.

12. By helping the meetings be as real SA as possible, so feel free to politely challenge newcomers who think it may be a chat line, or a social club. We do not need to know they just walked the dog, or that they are taking another call from their astrologer, or by their interuptive questions asking if Joey in East Jabip is online, or how is the traffic on highway 666, or what is the reading, and then just share what they did all day anyway…. Really shouldn’t we all show up on time and stay for the entire hour meeting? If one’s work environment is frantic or disruptive please spare us and just go on mute, rather then jump in and out, saying here I am, then announcing I am leaving, and later breaking in “I am back”……if someone walked in and out and in again to a face to face meeting and announced it loudly every time would it be tolerated?  Certainly to share on topic is great, but don’t ask for recaps, then assume we all have been just waiting for their share with baited breath… Newsflash your mother and us are not on the SA phoneline waiting for you to announce you are home!

13. In the same vein please challenge cross talk (or questions and answers) between callers as it is against tradition and just rude to the other callers.

14. By carrying the message, taking telephone flyers to face to face meetings and letting others know of this SA resource.  What have you done to help the phone meetings “Carry The Message”.

15. By staying sober and letting others know the phone meetings are helping you achieve the sobriety. Lets become the soberest wing of SA, lets all be able to say, and mean THAT JUST FOR TODAY I DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH MYSELF OR ANYONELSE (EXCEPT MY SPOUSE) NO MATTER WHAT….. AND MY (WHITE BOOK) SOBRIETY (AND SEXUALY ABSTINENCE) ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY LIFE!  It is my impression sober people are saying it, and unsober ones aren’t. Try saying it. Keep saying it. Eventually you will mean it.


Cease and Desist

SAICO and/or Go hands (3rd party company) requested “cease and desist”.  However, it was more related to the SA White Book.  We still do NOT agree with the following facts:

  1. SAICO receives NO MONEY or royalties from the sales of the White Book yet continues to endorse and sell 10,000s of books.
  2. Historically, literature sales in AA and other 12 Step programs have always been a major source of income, yet there are several people running the show who are NOT members of SA and collecting a salary
  3. AA and many other 12 Step programs publish their literature online for FREE
  4. We find it to be preposterous that the SAICO central office took such an AGGRESSIVE position threatening to sue webmaster over this matter
  5. It was NEVER webmaster’s intention to profit on the White Book nor violate any laws.  He could NEVER pay back what SA has given him–priceless gift and he’ll always be eternally grateful
  6. On our home page we clearly state: “This site is not endorsed by SA, nor does it represent SA as a whole”
  7. Read more


Here are some excerpts from the actual letter below…


For the record, here are the chronological facts:

  1. When we introduced the website in 2009 it received support from one person – Chad C.  I sent out an email to a long list of members soliciting their advice that I knew and he was the ONLY person who replied.
  2. The and webmasters have changed hands, but Chad C has offered lots of sound advice and guidance over the years.
  3. In addition, I worked very closely with Kay S. at the SAICO central office to follow certain attribution polices related to copyright laws (e.g. “Adapted with permission from ….”) and non-conference approved literature.
  4. The sole purpose of the website was to provide up-to-date phone number changes, codes and new meeting schedule as well as hosting the various custom scripts and formats for each of the meetings
  5. There are many SA Members and groups that continue to reference the website including 2215 and 2400 groups because they often do not have a secretary to lead the meeting and ask for someone to facilitate.  What better way to encourage consistency than to refer people to a website where any member can quickly download the script and lead the meeting.  That’s how most people got involved on the Noon teleconference.
  6. I prefer to stay out of the controversy with other people’s agendas and will continue to work together with people who are sensible on this matter.


For example, the Baltimore SA Intergroup has worked very hard to introduce new ideas to the fellowship and had one of the most successful International Conventions in the history of SA last year.  Many of the members who I have worked with for counsel and governance on the project  are long-standing “SOBER MEMBERS” from the local area, which incidentally was Chad’s suggestion.   Moreover, Sexual recovery is up against the odds–Pornographic websites 4.2 million (12% of total websites).  The sexual advertising culture we live in today has a devastating impact on our society.  It is very, very dangerous when you consider “Child Pornography, Child Sexual Abuse and Human Sex Trafficking”.  Being a family man, which I know you are as well, it is critical that we work together towards the common good.  Not fight against each other.


Take for instance the New York Times Magazine: It ran a cover story on May 18 called “Naked Capitalists: There’s No Business Like Porn Business.” Its thesis: Pornography is big business–with $10 billion to $14 billion in annual sales. The author,  Frank   Rich Frank Rich , suggests that pornography is bigger than any of the major league sports, perhaps bigger than Hollywood. Porn is “no longer a sideshow to the mainstream…it is the mainstream,” he says.   The Country Revenue in China is $27 Billion (number one), South Korea $25B  and Japan $19B.  Sources: Real Truth, Enough, Wiki, Forbes, Family

Updates to the scripts

Lately there have been a lot of updates to the SAPhoneMeetings.  We have tried to capture the most recent updates and publish online so this site is accurate but we need help.  If you are interested in volunteering to help organize this information, please send an email to

For example, another new meeting was published on VIG Listings: Central Europe 07:30 pm Every 3rd Thursday White Book Study
Language: French | Phone: 424-203-8405 | Code: 430834#
07:30 pm Fri White Book Study Language: Dutch

Keeping all the individual group scripts up-to-date is very challenging.  We would like to offer some ideas below that we have researched from other 12 Step Phone Bridges / Teleconference meetings => Click here for a sample

Again, we need help with this!  There are many other VERY successful meetings that have some fantastic language and guidelines.  If you come across something, please send it to  Thanks in advance for your support!

Moreover, we have started TESTING a new “pilot” line with more advanced features on the Midnight call.  We believe this will help eliminate background noise, hecklers and disruptions with the primary purpose “Each group has but one primary purpose— to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers”  (Tradition 5).  The overall goal is to improve the quality of the 12 Step Teleconference meeting for ALL SA MEMBERS!

General Free Conferencing Service Questions

  1. Is this conference call service really free?
  2. Are you going to sell my contact information?
  3. Can callers outside the United States join my conference call?
  4. Is this a VoIP service like Skype™ or Vonage™?
  5. What about security?
  6. Can you provide me a local dial-in number?
  7. Will I be charged long distance?

Reliable conference call services

Our free conference call service is run on carrier-grade telecom equipment and digital fiber optic telephone lines from the same network you use every day.

We work hard to ensure no-hassle conference call connections, reliability and exceptional audio quality for every conference call handled. This is a convenient, cost-effective alternative to costly travel or expensive pay-based conferencing services.

Increase conference call security

We understand security is a concern for every business which is why we designed specific features to help you maintain a secure conference call environment

Meeting Guidelines

Participation guidelines:

  • There is no cross talk. We don’t interrupt others. However, the leader has the right to remind the person sharing of guidelines, time consumed, etc.
  • We don’t give advice. We talk in the “I,” not the “we” or the “you,” speaking from our own experience. If we want to respond to what someone has said, we do so only in terms of our own experience. “I can only speak for myself, but whenever I did such and such, this is what happened in my life …”
  • We don’t get carried away analyzing what caused our behavior or attitudes. If we were victimized in early life, we slowly learn to face and work through it in acknowledgment, acceptance, and forgiveness. We talk as those who are now responsible for our attitudes and actions and are willing to take responsibility for our lives and recovery.
  • In sharing, rather than displaying our knowledge or insights, we lead with our weakness and give of ourselves.
  • We avoid politics, religious dogma, and other divisive issues. We also avoid explicit sexual descriptions and sexually abusive language.
  • We avoid dumping, self-pity, and blaming others.
  • We don’t take the “inventories” of others; that is, we uncover and work on our own defects, not those of others. We refer to our own experiences.
  • We do speak honestly of where we really are today. We try to develop transparent honesty of complete self-disclosure, letting the other members know where we are currently, regardless of length of sobriety.
  • We do lead with our weakness and take the risk of total self-disclosure.
  • By attending on time and sharing regularly, we give of ourselves to others in the group. We get back recovery.

(See the material under the heading “I Am a Sexaholic” under Step One, in this book, and read the article “Meeting Quality and Use of Non-SA Literature,” in Discovering the Principles. SA WB pg. 188-89)

Sex & Stimuli

More sex is the secret to a longer, healthier life

Sex is anti-aging, immune-boosting and stress-reducing to name a few of the health benefits. Here are six reasons to spend more time between the sheets.

There is an anti-aging, immune-boosting, stress-reducing, mood-enhancing and hormone- balancing secret out there—and it’s not just for the stars! It’s sex. Did you know that having regular sex will give you a host of physiological and psychological benefits? Here’s why:

1. It’s a natural pain reliever: Sex causes increased production of oxytocin, which is often referred to as the “love hormone”. Before orgasm, oxytocin, released from the brain, surges and is accompanied by the release of endorphins, our natural pain-killing hormones. The area of the brain involved in pain reduction is highly activated during arousal and endorphins are released; endorphins soothe nerve impulses that cause menstrual cramps, migraines or joint pain. Oxytocin also affects the way we feel, helping us form strong emotional bonds as well as reduce pain. According to a study by Beverly Whipple, professor emeritus at Rutgers University and a famed sexologist and author, when women have an orgasm, pain tolerance threshold and pain detection threshold increases significantly, by up to 74.6 percent and 106.7 percent respectively.

2. It’s a stress reliever: The endorphins released during sexual intercourse and orgasms are natural mood-boosters and stress relievers. Regular sex can also boost your self-esteem and increase intimacy between partners. For those in a monogamous relationship, studies have found that semen does contain several mood-altering hormones that can reduce depression and elevated mood.

3. It boosts immunity: Endorphins released during intimacy have been found to stimulate immune system cells that fight disease. Researchers have found higher levels of Immunoglobulin A in individuals who have regular sex. Immunoglobulin A is a type of antibody that helps to protect us from infections. It is normally found in high levels in the mucous membranes of the digestive and respiratory tracts.

4. It’s good for your heart: Intercourse, depending on your level of enthusiasm, can be considered aerobic exercise, burning up to 200 calories per session. Among other benefits, women who engage in regular sexual activity with their partners have higher levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. Research has found that men who have sex two times per week have fewer heart attacks than those who do not. The hormones released during sex cause an increase in blood pressure and heart rate, and it can engage almost every muscle in the body.

5. It gives you a glow: The glow of good sex is real. Women who have more sex have higher levels of estrogen, which is essential to enjoying healthier, smoother skin. This increase in estrogen also helps to protect us from heart disease, osteoporosis and Alzheimer’s disease. It also promotes the production of collagen, which keeps the skin supple and gives you a healthy glow.

Still not feeling in the mood? If you notice a decrease in your libido, do not let it go unaddressed. Relationship problems, depression, hormonal imbalance or stress can contribute to a lack of libido. Consider supplements to raise testosterone or reduce stress, such as those suggested in my three-step program for hormonal health and wellness outlined in The Hormone Diet. I also encourage you to see your doctor for proper assessment. (Read more)

Ever wonder why you fall dead asleep or get a rush of self-confidence right after you have an orgasm?

It’s because of endorphins, oxytocin and other substances that are released into your bloodstream upon liftoff.

There are a host of sexual chemicals that affect your mind and body during and after sex. Check ’em out.

1. Prolactin

What it does: Prolactin relieves sexual arousal after orgasm and takes your mind off sex. It rises sharply immediately after orgasm in almost everyone. It’s one of the few moments of the day when we men aren’t preoccupied with sex.

How it makes you feel: Prolactin disengages you from sex after an orgasm, allowing you to think of other things besides the naked woman right in front of you. If after sex your mind is flooded with activities and chores you need to accomplish that day, that is prolactin at work. Just imagine how much more progress we could all make in our lives if they pumped this stuff into the water supply.

2. Oxytocin

What it does: Secreted by the pituitary gland, oxytocin stimulates the prostate, causes muscle contractions and sensitizes nerves. Research has shown that increased oxytocin produces more intense orgasms.

How it makes you feel: Oxytocin is known as the “cuddling hormone” because it causes you to feel a connection and bond with your lover. It’s also found in women’s breast milk, helping to create a bond between baby and mother.

If you enjoy cuddling with your girl after sex, chances are you know the effects of oxytocin well.

3. Endorphins

What they do: Endorphins are a group of neurotransmitters formed within the body that bind to opiate receptor sites in your brain to naturally relieve pain. The bio-chemicals acetylcholine and dopamine are known as endorphins, and have a similar chemical structure to morphine. They are also known to lower stress and boost confidence.

How they make you feel: Endorphins produce feelings of euphoria and pleasure, and they have a calming effect. They fill you with a sense of well-being and relaxation. They may also make you feel dizzy and drowsy, and you might even drift off to sleep. Doctors have suggested that over-stimulation of the opiate receptors, as with heroin use, causes a depressed sex drive.

So next time your woman hassles you over passing out post-sex, you know it’s the endorphins at work. In fact, you can even argue that the faster you fall asleep, the better the sex was.

Of note, endorphins are released by your brain during sex, sporting activities, skydiving, fights, grievous injuries, and almost any other exhilarating activity you partake in.

Get your adrenaline, among other things, pumping… (Read more)

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It’s a natural pain reliever: Sex causes increased production of oxytocin, which is often referred to as the “love hormone”. Before orgasm, oxytocin, released from the brain, surges and is accompanied by the release of endorphins, our natural pain-killing hormones

Where does the word “television” appear in our SA literature?

“11th Tradition: Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and television.” (SA WB pg. 7)

“Sex Objects. Persons of the same or opposite sex, including our own bodies. Almost anything about them can serve as triggers…

Media. Pictures, printed matter, ads, television and movies, music, and dance. Various places, from bars and dance halls to the streets, marketplaces, and showplaces of the city may also be considered media in the sense of what they communicate to us.

The Inner Landscape. Most of us can see how memories and fantasies can act as triggers. Intangibles we are likely to identify on our own are such things as failure, rejection, or criticism.” (SA WB pg. 33)

“What’s so wrong with sex? It’s God-given! People ask similar questions about the use of television, movies, music, etc. Usually those of us trying to rationalize our addictions are the ones coming up with these responses.” (SA WB pg. 39)

“So only I knew that I was wrong and that the cause of my disturbance was me. I had been binging on food and television ever since it happened for no apparent reason. I couldn’t even pray without the scene coming back. What I discovered was that I could not get rid of that memory, and that if I didn’t make it right, I’d have to keep on covering it, coating it over, or drowning it out with something.” (SA WB pg. 99)

“I had finally had it with my wife. She had to get help to change herself-or else! Married to her for years and now sober, I guess I knew when she was all loused up. I had her diagnosed as a television addict, rebellious, blind to seeing herself, and powerless to change. The description sounded disturbingly familiar, but I was too sure of myself to think it could ever apply to me. I had her nailed and felt pretty strongly about the whole thing. It was an ultimatum: Shape up or ship out.” (SA WB pg. 133)

“Stop feeding the obsession. This meant eliminating from what was under my control all printed and visual materials and other symbols of my tyranny. I had to stop feeding my lust by looking around, in my use of television, movies, and music; and by using and listening to the language of lust. I also had to stop living only and always inside my own head. That’s one of the great fringe benefits of going to a lot of meetings. Most of us sexaholics really live on the inside of our heads; we’re seldom in the real world.” (SA WB pg. 158)


Tips to improve the quality of your Relationship

1. Have boundaries set around your immediate or nuclear family. Have individual, couples & family time built into your routine and redefined lines of connection with each spouse’s family of origin. This means you have clear boundaries around how much time you spend with your parents/extended family and your spouses parents/extended family. Your couple’s relationship and family must be the first priority.

2. Touch each other often. Have a good connection around non-sexual physical touching, hand holding, kissing hello & goodbye, laying together, sitting on the couch next to each other. Establish a routine to kiss hello when arriving home and goodbye in the morning when parting for the day.

3. Say I love you to one another. Hearing this is reassuring about the way your partner feels about your relationship. It’s a small gesture that can keep your connection alive. Call each other during the day to say it if you miss your chance in the morning.

4. Have regular physical intimacy dates. Having an ongoing sexual relationship in your marriage is important. Couple in their 20’s average relations 2-4 times a week, couples in their 30’s twice per week, 40’s & 50’s once to twice per week. Pay attention to the frequency so as you aren’t being sexual less than twice per month and slipping into a routine that doesn’t give priority to connecting in a physical way. Maintaining your physical connection gives your marriage staying power and protects it from the stresses of life. Create time either spontaneously or planned, to follow through with regular sex and intimacy. Your sexual relationship should be a tension reducer, not a tension producer.

5. Compliment your partner in front of other people. Not only is it a nice thing to do, it helps your partner feel a deep sense of attachment to you as well as builds their self-esteem. It’s also good modeling for your children to see you being complementary to one another.

6. Every so often, have sex using a different sexual script. By mixing up your usual order of kissing, foreplay and intercourse you can reconnect in an amazing way. By initiating mixing up the script you take ownership of pleasure and eroticism in your marriage. Nothing is hotter than feeling desired and having a partner who takes charge of the sexual relationship.

7. Regularly give each other small gifts or gestures of loving and caring behaviors. Write your spouse a loving note, get them a special treat from the store or when you go on a business trip, write I love you in lipstick on the bathroom mirror one morning. By paying attention to this you can help your marriage maintain a ongoing connection.

8. When you are being sexual, open your eyes. Feeling even more daring? Lock a gaze during your orgasm. Doing this involves courage and letting your partner really see you, the essence of true intimacy, in-to-me-see. Your partner will have never felt so loved, connected and prioritized as a moment like this. Better than any romantic getaway any day, can be done at home anytime.

9. Have regular weekly dates to keep your connection alive and have regular weekly couple’s business meetings to discuss ongoing family “business” including the division of roles and household duties, weekly plans and items that need to be discussed in the relationship By keeping these times separated, date night can be about connecting, talking and being physical and organizational “business” night can be about problem solving and collaberating as a team during the week. Read more