Have you ever joined a Sexaholics Anonymous teleconference meeting and the secretary or moderator interrupted you and said, “stick to the question”.  Your answer is off the subject?

This happens at face-to-face meetings as well, but generally there is MUCH more tolerance if people can look into the eyes of the one sharing and see if they individual sharing is sincere.  Obviously, if the person sharing is literally crying, they are obviously distraught (distracted; deeply agitated; mentally deranged; crazed) and probably being honest.

Censorship is the suppression of speech, public communication or other information which may be considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, politically incorrect or inconvenient as determined by governments, media outlets, authorities or other groups or institutions.

Governments, private organizations and individuals may engage in censorship. When an individual such as an author or other creator engages in censorship of their own works or speech, it is called self-censorship. Censorship may be direct or it may be indirect, in which case it is called soft censorship. It occurs in a variety of different media, including speech, books, music, films, and other arts, the press, radio, television, and the Internet for a variety of claimed reasons including national security, to control obscenity, child pornography, and hate speech, to protect children or other vulnerable groups, to promote or restrict political or religious views, and to prevent slander and libel.

Direct censorship may or may not be legal, depending on the type, place, and content. Many countries provide strong protections against censorship by law, but none of these protections are absolute and frequently a claim of necessity to balance conflicting rights is made, in order to determine what can and cannot be censored. There are no laws against self-censorship.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

  1. Are decisions about the website made “unilaterally”?
    • No.  Before the website was ever published, we have sought advice and counsel from ALL members of SA.  We will continue to solicit feedback.  This site depends on the Unity of the fellowship and encourages people to email their opinions to info@saphonemeeting.org and attend periodic “ad-hoc” committee meetings.  Read more
    • We have continued to listen intently to others on the call and through email thereby being as transparent as possible.  Merely providing a service is our primary mission.  If you would like to join our “ad hoc committee” (formed for a specific task or objective, and dissolved after the completion of the task or achievement of the objective = harmony with VIG), please send us a note. Read more
  2. What is the value of the site?
    • Meeting Scripts—the SAPhoneMeeting website allows for one central, user-friendly stop for newcomers and members of Sexaholics Anonymous to get a copy of the meeting format.  Since there are multiple Daily Sobriety Renewals with variations in the questions, it is helpful to get a list of the questions pertaining to that specific teleconference call.  Most of the meetings follow the suggested “White Book” format found in the appendix and is included on the main menu.
    • Rich Content—user friendly, interactive site that allows users to easily find a meeting conducive to their schedule and/or time zone.  Also, there are multiple sections, guidelines and links that offer a wealth of information all easily accessible on the web.
    • Real-time News—the site contains multiple sections related to important announcements.  For example, we offer scrolling headlines updated on a regular basis.  Historically the primary access number used to have connectivity failures and callers needed to use the Backup number.  Frequently, there are changes to the phone meetings and are updated immediately.
    • Infrastructure—We will continue to try and stay ahead of the curve and offer the most advanced technical features and benefits like http://saphonemeeting.org/twitter.html.  In particular, we have designed a repository individual groups can publish their “business meeting minutes” online so folks could access with a secure password (of course) and follow along the chronological events leading up to the present (e.g. discussions and decisions that affect the meeting).
    • Global Presence—the World Wide Web offers a handy reference to people all over the world.  Historically, the schedule of SA Phone Meetings were posted on Yahoo Groups.  However, this required moderation and you needed to subscribe (requiring Yahoo account) to access the contents.
  3. What are some of the challenges with getting the SAPhoneMeeting accepted by all the teleconference groups?
    • Technical sophistication—Facebook is another modern form of social networking, but we need to be very careful of potential triggers.  Many “old school” members who are used to attending face-to-face meetings have tremendous FEAR about the Internet and in some cases even email.  Consider, the unknown ATMs back in the mid-80s.  Many people didn’t trust the integrity of cash flow and the commercial interaction with a machine.
    • Conflict of Interest—Perhaps, more than half of the callers acknowledge that Internet pornography is there primary form of acting out.  Thus, using a website as a central point of contact creates apprehension.  However, living in the 21st century is challenging with all the sexual advertising and culture temptations.  The Information Highway has exploded and has become a normal way of communicating today. Read more
    • Anonymity—Our founding fathers discovered the real spirit of this principle when they were tempted to use their full name for fame and fortune.  Today, this is perhaps one of the most important aspects of the 12 Step recovery program.  It creates a safe environment for addicts who are desperate and terrified that others may discover their secrets.  However, whenever someone opens a normal email from their work computer, it is automatically logged on multiple servers and can easily be traced.  There are many tools for ensuring secure communication (i.e. encryption, https, certificates, etc.).  Even the phone calls themselves pose a risk because currently the lines are not secure and the access PINs are widely distributed across the World Wide Web.
  4. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
    • One of the biggest “red flags” in any organization is when someone makes this comment.  Sure, there is a lot of wisdom in KISS, however, most human beings are resistant to change and generally speaking, if you do not change, you will die.
    • What has been the success of the website?  Read more
    • “I wish the SA Phone Meeting website were available to our Daily Sobriety Renewal (DSR) call”
    • Who else has an opinion? Read more


Are you disturbed?

olive_branchOlive branch is usually a symbol of peace… (Read more)

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

SAPhoneMeetings website (FAQs) was established 7 years ago (4/13/2009 ~ Read more)

If for some reason, you find this website disturbing, then consider…

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. (12&12 p.90)

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. (BB p.417) Read more

Tradition One: Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon AA unity.

  • Am I in my group a healing, mending, integrating person, or am I divisive? What about gossip and taking other members’ inventories?
  • Am I a peacemaker? Or do I, with pious preludes such as “just for the sake of discussion,” plunge into argument?  Read more

Character Assasinations

Have you ever felt persecuted?  How many times has someone been the judge and jury of your character?

Matthew 5:43-44 Love Your Enemies
“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”.

Often when people criticize us we turn to obsessive, compulsive and addictive behavior.  Besides masturbation or pornography, have you ever binged on food?  In particular, candy (sugar) and fast food restaurants?  What about too much coffee or smoking cigarettes?  These are all part of the human nature to want to cope with the feelings.

If you are interested, there are many others who have found a solution by going to 12 Step program called OverEaters Anonymous.  Also, visit http://greysheet.org

Gossip is a very dangerous, destructive habit, I believe.  I will never forget when Eddie S. accused me of gossiping around 10 years ago.  I was hanging out in the kitchen of my AA home group and he got very upset.  That was his style.  He would say things that were not always popular.  One of his famous sayings was, “the alcoholic cannot handle the truth”.

According to Webster’s dictionary, it means idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others: the endless gossip about Hollywood stars; a person given to tattling or idle talk; to talk idly, especially about the affairs of others; go about tattling.  small talk, hearsay, palaver, chitchat. newsmongering about the affairs of others. Scandal is rumor or general talk that is damaging to reputation; it is usually more or less malicious

After reading this I found it interesting that you can not ungossip.  Also, when you research the Origin Middle English / Old English  before 1050, it comes from godsibb, godparent, equivalent to god, God + sibb related

So, perhaps God has a hand in all this small talk?

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How do you say Merry Christmas in Italian?

Today I was on my lunch break and was walking by Little Italy.  Across from my favorite local Italian restaurant was a Bocce court.  Meanwhile, there was a Lamborghini parked on the side of the street and couldn’t help but notice.  A elderly Italian lady came over and said, “I have a friend in New York City who has two of them and 8 Porsches“.

“Wow”, I replied and then said, “Merry Christmas”.

She responded, “Buon Natale”

SAICO Conference Approved

What does “Conference Approved” really mean?

Is the Bible illegal?  Are you aware that this is the #1 most popular book in the world based on sales.  In fact, they have sold more copies than the 2nd, 3rd and 4th most popular books combined.

What about the dictionary?  Do you know the meaning of every word in our Literature?

This is really where the concept began – when the founder(s) wrote books and information about the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions.  Then the central office was formed to manage all the inquiries.

However, the founder of Sexaholics Anonymous decided NOT to share the revenue collected from the SA White Book (our Basic Text).  So unfortunately, even though literature sales was traditionally the #1 source of revenue, now SAICO has a difficult challenge writing material they own the Copyright.

When you visit the Online SA Store you’ll notice there are two (2) distinct publishing sites.  Roy K. and his estate (e.g. Iris, widow) receive 100% of the royalties.  SAICO receives $0.00.  SA Publications (White Book, Recovery Continues, etc.)

In addition, there is a selected list of approved AA literature. Consult the AA Service Manual for full list p.S82-3, The A.A. Service Manual, 2013-2014 Edition.  AA encourages everyone to order A.A. literature from the nearest Central Office or Intergroup
Office. The General Service Office cooperates closely with these offices, which are the best resource for A.A. literature and information. For more information visit www.aa.org (services for member menu). Or contact AA Headquarters. Read more

Long before the Internet was popular, there was always temptation to publish literature in the Saturday Evening Post, Readers Digest, etc.    So, AA figured this out over 60 years ago and published the AA Twelve in Twelve in 1952.   The sole purpose was to introduce the Traditions.

For example, Tradition Eleven states, “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV.”  Today, in the 21st century you can add “Internet”.

Fortunately, A.A. has established “Guidelines” compiled from the shared experience of members in various service areas. They also reflect guidance given through the Twelve Traditions and the General Service Conference.  In keeping with our Tradition of autonomy, except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole, most decisions are made by the group conscience of the members involved. The purpose of these Guidelines is to assist in reaching an informed group conscience.  Read more



So, the real question is, has anyone ever “Approved” the www.saphonemeeting.org besides the founder?

The answer is YES.  Read more

In fact, the website never was intended to be managed by ONE person.  Technically, it began with four (4) VERY important people, hence the wording “Established 2009” on our home page.  It was Brian in Rhode Island, Chad in Colorado, Kelvin in Maryland and Kay in Tennessee.

The 0630 AM EST daily sobriety renewal that Brian founded was the first group to approve the website.

to be continued…