Hootchy-Kootchy

My present job as an Uber driver puts me face-to-face with temptation on a daily basis. Unfortunately, there are a lot of parties and festivals this weekend in Baltimore (e.g. http://baltimorecomiccon.com, Power Plant Live, Pier V pavillion and Druid Hill park).

Below are a few terms and definitions according to Webster dictionary that were surfaced from some of the wild “taxi rides”.

Slut—promiscuous woman; prostitute; a saucy girl; minx; slutty clothes; bimbo; hoochie; Jezebel; floozy, tramp, wench, whore

Minx—a sexually attractive and playful woman who often causes trouble; a pert girl; a wanton woman; a clever little minx; a blond actress who was usually typecast as the minx in melodramas

Hoochie—a sexually promiscuous young woman; took up with some hoochie he had met at a biker bar; hootchy-kootchy exotic dance

Jezebel—the Phoenician wife of Ahab who according to the account in I and II Kings pressed the cult of Baal on the Israelite kingdom but was finally killed in accordance with Elijah’s prophecy; shameless, or morally unrestrained woman; as far as the family matriarch was concerned, her son’s fiancée was a gold digger and a Jezebel


Grope—feel or fondle (someone) for sexual pleasure, especially against their will. “he was accused of groping office girls”; fondle, touch

Atonement

Yom Kippur, also known as Day of Atonement, is the holiest day of the year in Judaism.  Read more  Interestingly enough, while I was sitting in synagogue yesterday with my wife and daughter, I noticed how many similarities I had with the following list:

yom_kippur

Atonement in Christianity: In western Christian theology, atonement describes how human beings can be reconciled to God. Atonement refers to the forgiving or pardoning of sin in general and original sin in particular.  Core human frailties. 12 Step folks spend a lot of time discussing Christian holidays – Xmas, Easter, etc. However, little do they know, Judaism pre-dates Jesus. ALL of Alcoholics Anonymous began with the Bible.  And obviously SA came from AA.


How to Be Humble:
“In reality there is perhaps no one of our natural Passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself…For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.” (Benjamin Franklin)

“It’s hard to be humble,” says an old country song, “when you’re perfect in every way.” Very few people, of course, actually think they’re perfect in every way, but it can still be pretty hard to be humble, especially when you live in a society that encourages competition and individuality. Even in such a culture, however, humility is an important virtue. Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most religions and spiritual traditions, and humility can also help you develop as a person and enjoy richer relationships with others.

1. Appreciate your talents. Being humble doesn’t mean you can’t feel good about you. Self-esteem is not the same as pride. Both come from a recognition of your own talents and qualities, but pride–the kind of pride that leans toward arrogance–is rooted in insecurity about yourself. Think about the abilities you have and be thankful for them.
2. Understand your limitations. No matter how talented you are, there is almost always somebody who can do something better than you can. Look to those who are better — much better — than you are in something. Remember that you are not the best while also considering the potential for improvement. Also, even if you are the best in the world at doing one thing, there are other things–important, worthwhile things–that you cannot do, and you may never be able to do some of these things. Add to this the fact that there are a great many things that no person can do, and you can get some idea of your limitations. Recognizing your limitations does not mean abandoning your dreams, and it doesn’t mean giving up on learning new things or improving your existing abilities. It does mean coming to terms with the very real limits of your abilities.
3. Recognize your own faults. We judge others because it’s a lot easier than looking at our own faults. Unfortunately, it’s also completely unproductive and, in many cases, harmful. Judging others causes strife in relationships, and it prevents new relationships from forming. Perhaps even worse, it prevents us from trying to improve ourselves. We make judgments about others all the time, and we often don’t even realize it. As a practical exercise, try to catch yourself in the act of judging another person or group of people, and whenever you do, judge yourself instead and consider how you could improve yourself.
4. Stop comparing. Why? Because, it’s just about impossible to be humble when we’re striving to be the “best” or trying to be “better” than others. Instead, try describing things more objectively. Rather than saying that so and so is the best guitarist ever, say what exactly it is that you appreciate about his skills, or simply say that you like his playing style. Let go of meaningless, simplistic comparisons, and you’ll be able to enjoy doing things without worrying about whether you’re better or worse at them than others.
5. Appreciate the talents and qualities of others. Challenge yourself to look at others and appreciate the things they can do and, more generally, to appreciate people for who they are. Understand that everybody is different and relish the chance you have to experience different people. You will still have your personal tastes, your likes and dislikes, but train yourself to separate your opinions from your fears and you will appreciate others more–you will be humbler.
6. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Never be afraid to admit that you made a mistake. Part of being humble is understanding that you will make mistakes. Understand this, and understand that everyone else makes mistakes, and you will have a heavy burden lifted off of you. Why do we make mistakes? Because we don’t know everything. Any one person can know only the smallest bits and pieces of the tremendous knowledge that has accumulated over the past. What’s more, we experience only a sliver of the present, and we know nothing of the future.
7. Don’t be afraid to defer to others’ judgment. It’s easy to acknowledge that you make mistakes and that you’re not always right. Somewhat more difficult however, is the ability to acknowledge that in many cases other people–even people who disagree with you–may be right. Deferring to your spouse’s wishes, to a law you don’t agree with, or even, sometimes, to your child’s opinion takes your recognition of your limitations to a different level. Instead of simply saying that you know that you’re fallible, you take action based on that fact. Of course, if you know that a particular course of action is wrong, you shouldn’t follow it. On closer inspection, though, you may realize that you don’t actually know this as often as you think you do.
8. Rejuvenate your sense of wonder. Because we, as individuals, know practically nothing, you’d expect that we’d be awestruck more often than we typically are. Children have this sense of wonder, and it inspires the curiosity that makes them such keen observers and capable learners. Do you really know how your microwave works? Could you build one on your own? What about your car? Your brain? A rose? The jaded, “I’ve seen it all” attitude makes us feel far more important than we are. Be amazed like a child and you will not only be humbled; you will also be readier to learn.
9. Seek guidance. Contemplate moral texts and proverbs about humility. Pray for it, meditate on it, do whatever it takes to get your attention off yourself. If you’re not into spirituality, consider the scientific method or vipassana. Science requires humility. It requires that you let go of your preconceived notions and judgments and understand that you don’t know as much as you think you do.
10. Think about yourself under different circumstances. Much of what we give ourselves credit for is actually a product of luck. Suppose you graduate from an Ivy League university at the top of your class. You definitely deserve a lot of credit for the many hours of studying and for your perseverance. Consider though, that there is someone just as intelligent and hardworking as you who had less supportive parents, grew up in a different place, or just had the bad luck to make one wrong choice in life. That person – you, really – might be in jail now; they might be shivering in the entryway of a darkened storefront or clinging to life in a hospital bed. Or they may already have died, far from a hospital, from the very same illness for which your doctor treated you with a one-week course of antibiotics. Always remember that with a little bad luck yesterday, your whole life could be different today and, furthermore, that today could be the day your luck changes.
11. Help others. A big part of being humble is respecting others, and part of respecting others is helping them. Treat other people as equals and help them because it is the right thing to do. It’s been said that when you can help others who cannot possibly help you in return, you have learned humility.

• Keep in mind that being humble has many benefits. Humility can help you be more content with your life, and it can also help you endure bad times and improve your relationships with others. It’s also essential to being an effective learner. If you think you know it all, you won’t be open-minded enough to seek out new knowledge. Humility is also, somewhat counter-intuitively, an excellent tool for self-development in general. After all, if you feel superior, you have no incentive to improve. Most of all, being humble allows you to be honest with yourself.
• Pretending to be humble isn’t the same as being humble, and often people who pretend to be humble do it in order to seek out praise. Other people will recognize this, and even if you fool some, you won’t derive the same benefits as you would through actually developing humility.
• Similarly, don’t confuse being humble with being sycophantic (being overly-praiseful of someone for your own profit). This is a common misconception, but the two attitudes are completely different.

Lust is a Scam

God, please help me refuse all lust hits as toxic NOW!

This moment = 1 sec.

Welcome to my world as a “Sex Addict”. I woke up this morning to my wife’s alarm @ 6:45am.

One day at a time means I need to stay sober over the next 59 seconds + 59 minutes + 23 hours. Thy will not mine be done.


Lust is all a lie. It’s completely fake. A big scam


U got that right!!

More importantly

It pisses me off when I see people with these rich, lavish lives


Dosent bring them happiness only love from people does


Prostitutes, pimps, porn movie producers, etc

People are getting rich at our expense


They are drug dealers .. Semi legal

Love cripple

I am a Sex addict and member of Sexaholics Anonymous. I started attending SA meetings in 1994.

I am powerless over voyeurism and wanting to be lusted after.  I also am a drug addict and alcoholic. I began Narcotics Anonymous in 1990.

Fortunately, my sobriety date is 11/7/1996 even though my first AA meeting was in 1992.  I also met my wife in 1992 and we dated 10 years before marrying in 2002. We have two kids (girl and a boy).

So, what exactly is voyeurism? Merriam Webster defines it as a person who gets sexual pleasure from secretly watching other people have sex; one obtaining sexual gratification from observing unsuspecting individuals who are partly undressed, naked, or engaged in sexual acts; one who habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means; a prying observer who is usually seeking the sordid or the scandalous.

I particularly enjoy how Roy K. (founder of SA) describes “The Problem…Our habit made true intimacy impossible. We could never know real union with another because we were addicted to the unreal. We went for the “chemistry,” the connection that had the magic, because it by-passed inti­ macy and true union. Fantasy corrupted the real; lust killed love. First addicts, then love cripples, we took from others to fill up what was lacking in ourselves. Conning ourselves time and again that the next one would save us, we were really losing our lives.”

He goes on to say, “I never suspected that the whole process from the very beginning was creating a deadly false reality and short-circuiting my ability to have normal relationships with anyone, let alone wife and children. Without sensing what was happening anywhere along the line, the great love “maker” had become the great love cripple.” (WB pg. 16).

Thank God, our sobriety definition calls for “progressive victory over lust”. Moreover, my conscience is very much aware today when I start to cross certain lines. There are many bottoms I have never hit, yet. However, YET stands for “Your Eligible Too”

Does lust discriminate?

According to the Bible, it would appear that way. For example, in the following helpful verse, it appears that lust is limited to men only.

“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  (Matthew 5:28)

Needles to say, I believe most of our historical books and references were written from the standpoint of a man— male superiority.

Here is another excerpt that Roy K. discusses as a useful technique.

“Learn to give instead of take. This technique worked on lust too. Whenever I’d catch a likely image in the corner of my eye, instead of obeying the impulse to look and drink, I’d keep looking straight ahead while praying for that person. It might be a simple, God bless her and give her what she needs. Or, depending on the intensity of the lust stimulus, it might be more fervent: God bless her and make her a blessing”(SA WB pg. )

So, my conclusion is…

Shame and Intrigue

When I masturbate to pornography, videos, TV,  magazines,  pictures, etc.

…I typically erase, delete and even burn the images after the climax and high.

Once the “instant gratification” is satisfied, remorse, shame and guilt are soon to follow!

It’s been my experience that acting out/in generally boils down to my desire to fantasize, escape reality because I feel bad.

This is such a big waste of time and money!  Our dis-ease (discomfort & delusional thinking) is very patient. It wants us dead.

I believe there is a little bad in the best of us. Recovery is all about action. We cannot sit around waiting for good things to happen. We have to carry the body and the mind will follow.

Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But it will always materialize if we work for it.

I also believe you cannot just “gress”. You are either progressing or regressing!

…more updates coming soon

Explaining our addiction to non-addicts

AA has taught me that it is almost impossible to explain alcoholism to a family member who is not alcoholic.

manic-depressive

(Read more)

To Hell and Back—When I became a member of Alcoholics Anonymous in September 1988, I wasn’t sure that the program would work for me. But I was driven by the fear of what might happen to me and my children if I didn’t give it a try.

Fear was probably the very thing I needed to bring me to the point of surrender necessary to recover. When staying sober became my number-one priority, I started to do things differently. I went to many meetings, I got a sponsor, I created a network of people in recovery around me, I became a part of that same network by working with others, and sobriety became my — Tena W (Read more)


If I got a nickel for every time my wife or parents told me I needed “medication”, I would be a millionaire.  I personally believe the “bi-polar & manic depressive” label is overused in the mental health profession.  Even television now advertises all kinds of miracle drugs for insomnia, depression, etc.

My experience is that it is very important for the addict to be “open minded” and at least consider the advice offered by therapists.  I personally have met with over a dozen psychologists, psychiatrists, LCSW and marriage counselors.  I have even taken various prescriptions since 1995.  The results are obvious, I’ve stayed clean and sober for over 18 years and married for over 12 years.  So, I believe it works!

Nevertheless, at this point taking drugs is like following some of the suggestions in the 12 step program.  Most people I know, have told me I could benefit.  But then I have also received extreme recommendations and perhaps unusual advice from sponsors.  For example, eating only certain foods and vitamins, getting more involved in the bible, practicing certain vipassana dharma meditation techniques, etc.  Yet, when I examine their life, they have gross handicaps.

So, it’s my conclusion that therapy and pharmaceutical drugs can be very helpful to anyone struggling with addiction.  But ultimately, it comes down to changing your behavior, actions, feelings and emotion.  That’s all I can control.  Taking a pill is not much different than the 15 years I spent “self medicating” myself with street drugs like cocaine, LSD psychedelic experience, hash, opium, hallucinogenic mushrooms, marijuana and alcohol.

Today, I still take drugs like caffeine in coffee and soda, sugar in candy and occasionally nicotine in cigarettes or cigars.  Ironically, when I last me with a psychiatrist he prescribed “anti- anxiety” medication. I firmly believe my #1 goal every day is to eat healthy and exercise. They told me when I was new, that I have a 3-fold disease—mental, physical and spiritual.

I try to watch what I eat (e.g. carbohydrates in bread and pasta versus McDonalds and Taco Bell).  As a matter of fact, I’m constantly learning new ideas from other people like the excerpts below.  I have never tried acupuncture because I’m not a big fan of needles, but I’m not ruling it out.


Hypoglycemia, also known as low blood sugar or low blood glucose, is when blood sugar decreases to below normal. This may result in a variety of symptoms including clumsiness, trouble talking, confusion, loss of consciousness, seizures, or death. A feeling of hunger, sweating, shakiness, and weakness may also be present. Symptoms typically come on quickly.

The most common cause of hypoglycemia is medications used to treat diabetes mellitus such as insulin, sulfonylureas, and biguanides. Risk is greater in diabetics who have eaten less than usual, exercised more than usual, or drunk alcohol. Other causes of hypoglycemia include kidney failure, certain tumors, liver disease, hypothyroidism, starvation, inborn error of metabolism, severe infections, reactive hypoglycemia, and a number of drugs including alcohol.  Low blood sugar may occur in babies who are otherwise healthy who have not eaten for a few hours. (Read more)


Hyperglycemia, or high blood sugar (also spelled hyperglycaemia or hyperglycæmia, not to be confused with the opposite disorder, hypoglycemia) is a condition in which an excessive amount of glucose circulates in the blood plasma.

Temporary hyperglycemia is often benign and asymptomatic. Blood glucose levels can rise well above normal for significant periods without producing any permanent effects or symptoms. However, chronic hyperglycemia at levels more than slightly above normal can produce a very wide variety of serious complications over a period of years, including kidney damage, neurological damage, cardiovascular damage, damage to the retina or damage to feet and legs. Diabetic neuropathy may be a result of long-term hyperglycemia.

Acute hyperglycemia involving glucose levels that are extremely high is a medical emergency and can rapidly produce serious complications (such as fluid loss through osmotic diuresis). It is most often seen in persons who have uncontrolled insulin-dependent diabetes.

The following symptoms may be associated with acute or chronic hyperglycemia, with the first three composing the classic hyperglycemic triad:
Polyphagia – frequent hunger, especially pronounced hunger
Polydipsia – frequent thirst, especially excessive thirst
Blurred vision, Fatigue (sleepiness), Weight loss, Dry mouth, Dry or itchy skin, Erectile dysfunction, Stupor, Seizures (Read more)